randomness

It's 3:34 a.m. I am exhausted but I cannot sleep. Ever had that feeling? Yeah, it pretty much sucks. Not a lot of great literary writing going on when it's the middle of the night. I want to write down a few more things that I don't want to forget, and since everyone uses electronic means to write down anything, I am doing it here. That is basically how it is with me, though.....you get the whole package. The good, the bad, the funny, the crazy, the irritable. Take what you want and leave what you don't. Life is too short for me to worry about it anymore.

The other day I had to speak with a pre-certification lady at the hospital in order to get the MRI's approved by the insurance. I personally felt like she was doubting and questioning everything I said about me and about Tretter. I am sure that she was looking at it from an insurance company's perspective, but I think a Chiari diagnosis in the family should automatically qualify the rest of the family members to be checked. I know the test is expensive, but ..... I don't even want to get started on the whole insurance/health care thing.

The other morning, after we found out what we found out about wrestling, the boys were playing rough and wrestling a little on the floor. I had to tell them to stop and I cushioned the news about the risk of Chiari patients having ruptures and worse if they wrestle. Whitaker immediately said, "SOOOO, you're telling me my head's going to explode!!" I told him (which I have told him 1000 times before) that God only gives us one head and we must take care of it. He answered with, "Yeah, but He made it wrong." I told Whitaker that this is part of life and that we can't blame anyone, especially God. Then I reassured them that God is with us all and will take care of all of us through this. I tried to explain that good is going to come from this; we don't know what yet, but we know that this is part of a special plan and it will make them stronger. They didn't buy that too wholeheartedly, but it was shower time anyway and one of them loves showers and the other doesn't, so if we get everyone successfully clean everyday, that is a little mommy victory.

I know it sounds crazy, (what else would you expect from me by now?) but I really am so, so thankful that we are close to getting some answers and realizing that some of these things are not our fault. Of course, there are still plenty of things that are, but not everything.
I also cannot stop thinking that this is going to be completely fixable....from what I understand now, this is risky because it is the brain, (and it is my child) but having the repair surgery takes care of it. Given the things that could be wrong with children, this is a huge, huge blessing. The surgery is not even something they will do at St. Jude's because it is so not life-threatening. That is a blessing.

My dog, Tebow, has been driving me crazy today. He won't get more than three feet away from my body -all day!! He kept sitting on me and next to me and under me. When I went to bed he came and lied on the floor next to me (people lie, things lay right?) but apparently that wasn't close enough because then he got on top of me. Now he is downstairs next to me on the couch, touching his butt to mine. How sweet.

I want to not go to school for the whole day today. John kind of disapproved of that idea when I said I could take the whole day as a sick day to go to the doctor. He gave an edict that we will each only take half a day off. That is what I will do I guess. Don't want to upset him during his 0-for-whatever it is season. I told him he would find God before this season was over. I was right.