Yesterday, I wore my birthday present to myself, a new Spanx one-piece body suit ($98.00, Spanx.com). It is a super-compacted, mega-spandex-on-steroids bra/tummy minimize/panties/girdle combo that goes from your shoulder to your knees. I have to share a couple of amusing anecdotes about them (it?? Is it singular or plural because it is a combo-garment. I think for the purpose of this blog, we will consider is singular – one body suit ).
First – the crotch is a flap, but when stretched within an inch of its life(as mine was) it makes for a crotch-less piece of apparel. I wore a skirt to school and some kids were on the floor listening to a book, but I did not walk across any of them, only around the perimeter of their circle.
Second – It takes an aerobic exercise to get into said bodysuit and another to get it off to go potty. I Only went twice yesterday at school. Before going during sixth period, I asked my friend (one of my favorite BFFs) if she was okay watching my class and told her about my new, expensive undergarment of which I was so proud, and that it might take me 30 minutes before I could get back. I was sweating at this point because it was so hot in my room, but I had to go and I had to poop for the second time in one day, which is unusual for me. I have decided the Spanx bodysuit acts like a toothpaste tube and squeezes the contents out the nearest opening. Anyway, I take off my security badge, my sweater, shirt, bodysuit, and skirt and am hurrying to do my thing in there when the fire alarm went off. We had just had a fire drill on Tuesday. Fire drills are always on a Tuesday, when it is sunny, during third period. Always. Either someone mischievously pulled it , or the building was really on fire. And I was completely naked, with the uber-compression body suit around my ankles. I decided quickly that I would take my chances in a fiery, smoke-filled building before running out there into the student body in my less-than-completely-covered-body. I was sweating again by the time I got done redressing, and the all-clear was announced just about the time I got out. Sheesh,as if I weren’t already, at this point, I am so ready for spring break.
Third – I still had it on when I went to my friend’s casa to check how many inches we have lost in the last 42 days of doing P90X because we all left today for Nashville to fly to Cancun tomorrow morning. I totally think it was unfair that I had that thing on because I totally would not have lost as many inches as I did – 9 or 10 all total I can’t remember – but never in a million years was that all from P90X, but probably from the corrugated lycra that squeezing out my poop. Oh, well, I’ll take it and I am so excited to be going somewhere for Spring Break!!
“I gotta go where it’s warm” ~Jimmy Buffet
Never Again
Mark my words all you people out there in cyber-land. I will never again leave for vacation on the same day as the end of the nine weeks. I just can’t do it. I had a hotmess in my room today with everything that the kids were trying to turn in and all of the laundry, packing, shopping, getting my hair did, etc. We also just finished a service project in my advisor session and I have to have a substitute on Monday when I get back because Whitaker has an appointment with the new endocrinologist. I am stressed out but I finally got out of the classroom in one piece and on the road to Nashville. I heart my family so much! I can’t wait to be on the beach in about 18 hours!!!! Yay!!
I already lost the new sunglasses I bought just for this trip. Great. We also have to buy a new camera because we can’t find Whitaker’s camera anywhere and we decided to just buy a new one instead of keep looking for it. Hopefully it will turn up soon after we get home.
If you are reading this, please pray for a family that I know that has a little baby at home and just had VERY premature twins who are now in hospitals in two different cities receiving intensive care. I cannot even imagine how difficult that would be. All we can do is pray for them and that the babies grow and develop fully and become shining examples of God’s love and amazing healing power.
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