running from my crazy self

I'm such a loser

2010-12-27T19:00:00.001-06:00

I have, like, one friend.
My husband doesn't want to do anything with me on New Year's Eve (except sit at home and watch football, which we already do all the time).
I haven't blogged in about two months.
I weighed in today at 113.5 in my bathroom, buck naked, pre-shower, which makes me a LOSER. in a good way.

Seriously, though, I have soooo much blogging to catch up on, for all the many people who don't read my blog. So, I will try to give everyone a really quick review of the last two months and then add in a couple of pics.

When I came back from NYC, I had to focus on school, school, school, and school. That would be Western Kentucky University, the school where I was a student, Perry Central Preschool, the school where I am the full-time teacher, Brescia University, the school where I was an adjunct professor one evening a week, and Tell City Jr.-Sr. High School, the school where I was completing 120 hours of Practicum experience. Sound exhausting? IT WAS! So that is why I haven't been all blog-happy in the last few months. At least not writing. I was still blog-stalking my favorites, like www.skinnyrunner.com.

I finished a 10K race on October 23; official time 1:14:37, last place in my age group. For me, as I have said before about 100 times, the victory is in getting out there. So last place is fine. really. I mean it. Some of you uber-competitive peeps out there cannot fathom being last, much in the same way that I cannot fathom other things, which for the sake of political correctness, I will refrain from sharing.

I will shout it from the mountaintops if I have to: all you runners out there who are not first, or even close to first, you should each be proud of yourself for being out there, off the couch, not eating a whole carton of ice cream. If I felt like re-naming my blog, it would be called "Slow is the new FAST" but that would take more effort than I can muster right now.

More catching up: On October 27 I came down with a sinus infection which lasted until after Thanksgiving. That is not my usual sarcastic exaggeration, either. That is for real. I went through two rounds of antibiotics, two steroid shots, one antibiotic shot, one trip to the emergency room, and an eventual mental meltdown in the doctor's office on the third trip. However, I am back using the Neti Pot twice a day, so I think I am infection-free, at least for a little while.

I finished requirements for my degree on December 10, 2010. Now I officially have a Master of Science in Library Media Education to add to my Master of Science in Curriculum and Instruction. Whether or not I will ever actually become a school library media specialist remains to be seen, but I have done my part, knocked it out of the park (3.81 GPA), and will prayerfully put my future in the Lord's hands. Words cannot express how thankful I am to be done with school right now.

Today is my 13 year anniversary to my hubster. Wow. Hanging in there through thick and thin.

I have realized that even though I am below my goal weight of 115 lbs., I don't like my body shape. I don't ~~know what to do about it~~ want to do what needs to be done to change it, which is hard cardio, push-ups, sit-ups, and weights. Guess I am going to have to work on getting motivated to do those fun things, too.

This semester I am going to concentrate on my preschooler's, who are so flipping adorable. Although the Christmas parties about wore me out, we survived, had fun, and are going to re-group before next week/month/year.

Tonight my youngest child is having his bff spend the night so he will be kindly asked to take some pics of our fam for our New Year's Cards (aka slacker Christmas cards). He will do great, despite being 10 years old. It should be fun and natural and hopefully will work. I have picked out a template from tinyprints.com, so the hard part is over. Given the year we have had, we think it fitting to look forward to the next year and let 2010 be history, forever.

Oh, and one more thing: I registered for the lottery to get into the NYC Marathon next November. The thing is, I also joined the NYRRC (New York Road Runners Club - or something like that) and if you are a member on January 1, 2011, then you are guaranteed to run in the 2012 ING Marathon. So whether a few months before or a few months after my 10th birthday, when I turn 40, I will become a MARATHONER. I will just say it - I only plan to do it once. Only for NYC would I run 26.2. But I will! So stay tuned......

High Heel-a-thon Part I :-)

2010-10-13T18:02:00.000-05:00

Okay, so the NYC trip is probably going to take more than one post. I'll try to start from the beginning, and spare everyone the boring parts.

I applied for the LIVE! with Regis and Kelly High Heel a thon back in July, when I was home with Whitaker, and I was just perusing the website and watching the video fashion blog like I do from time to time. Or every day. Whichever you prefer. And I had to write in 200 words or less why I wanted to run the High-Heel-a-thon, and I wrote something about how my son had just had brain surgery and it would be a great pick-me-up. I also added that I have been a huge (obsessive, borderline stalker) fan of Kelly for 20 years. Seriously. I didn't intentionally play the brain surgery card, but apparently, it worked, because a couple of days before school started in August, they called me. I mean, a girl named Courtney who is an intern for Regis and Kelly called me. She said they were interested in my story and I needed to send them a video that could be only two minutes. Wow! I was so pumped.

Problem: I don't know how to make a video! I spent about three nights pouring over the computer, trying to put together a slide show with voice-overs and music and all kinds of fancy stuff that I can not do. Finally, I decided to use my webcam and record myself talking into the computer. BORING. I also sent them a slide show with music that was two minutes long, which had pictures of the boys, the dog, our family, and Whitaker in the hospital, and his head afterwards.

During the first week of school I get a participation packet via email that said I had been accepted to run in the race. I was sooooo excited! I ran all around school, searching for someone that likes me to share the news with. Found a couple of people, who, despite liking me, still looked at me weird for being so excited to be getting to run in high heels. Still, I talked my friend Missy into going with me, invited my sister down from Vermont, and began obsessing over plane reservations and hotels near the race route in Central Park.

I searched for and found a pair of shoes that were awesome. Then I got them home and measured them and learned that they were too wide at the heel. Maximum 3 inch circumference and they were about 3 and 1/8 inches. Searched for and found another pair that were four inches tall - pretty spikey at the heel.

I began practicing. This is the part where it gets humorous. I would only practice in the middle of the night - like after 11 pm - and only on our road which is dark and country. How it makes sense that I was going to go on national television and run in high heels, yet I would only practice in the pitch black, I have no idea. Anyway, the practicing was tough! I could barely run 150 yards at a speed as fast as I could. I almost threw up after everytime. Not falling and not breaking an ankle was my ultimate goal......I knew I was never a fast enough runner to win, but I didn't want to end up bloody and scraped or an embarrassing last place. Plus, it was all about just getting to see Kelly Ripa in real life. and going to New York City. and seeing Kelly Ripa.

long time, no blog

2010-10-13T16:49:00.000-05:00

I know, I know. Please don't be mad. both of you, who read this blog. I have been a little (or a lot) busy. Here are some of the reasons I haven't blogged in a while (since August 21):

school started and holy crap, they suck the energy out of me!
grad school started and I have been putting in mucho hours in the TCJSHS library (Tell City Junior-Senior High School)
teaching my undergrad class started and I feel like I should be preparing/grading/studying for lectures
mowing business is still in full swing, despite the recent drought, and I had to take care of all the bookkeeping
the boys started playing all of their fall sports, for which there are practices, games, pictures, snacks, etc., etc.
all of this adds up to one whopping pile of laundry, which I am very, very unmotivated to do

So, after this excuse-filled absence, I have now decided to chuck all my responsibilities and catch everyone up on everything in detail that I have been doing. Well, some detail.

Things that make you go Hmmmmm....

2010-08-21T14:16:00.000-05:00

Remember Arsenio Hall? What ever happened to him? Well, when I was in high school, we would all stay up until 11:00 so we could watch the funny stuff he used to say in his monologue. Now here is my little version of things that make you go hmmmm, or more like, things about me that are just plain weird.

born on the 29th of February - only have a birthday every four years
had my boys one year and four days apart, and a total abdominal hysterectomy 14 months after.
grew up in five different states.....went to 8 schools by the 9th grade.
am a middle child, although my mother says I am not the middle child, but the oldest daughter (I am the second of three children)
have never lived in any one house longer than 5 years
love to eat but hate to cook
will drink reheated coffee up to a week old as long as it has no mold
have been told that I dance like Elaine from Seinfeld
have an abnormally low temperature, so even when I have a fever, my temperature registers as normal
had rhinoplasty at age 14, as a result of getting kicked in the face while spotting a girl doing a back handspring
think the only things I do really well are play with preschoolers, get graduate degrees, and eat Blizzards
have over 400 friends on facebook, yet I feel lonely most of the time
love sports of all sorts - and I have about 15 favorite teams
have high arches, TMJ, and scoliosis
had Osgood-Schlatter's as a teen
I love inside dogs, but do not like outside dogs at all
think school uniforms should be mandatory for all schools
am allergic to ragweed, all other weeds, trees, grasses, cockroaches, dust mites, and mold, among other things
believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason, and that God is in charge.

questions? just ask and I will answer.

We did it!

2010-08-14T13:25:00.004-05:00

Finished the Schweizer Fest 2-mile race this morning! My time was just over 24 minutes, which is faster than how I have been averaging according to Nike+ by about a minute per mile. My goals for the race were to finish with a time between 25 and 30 minutes, and to keep running the whole time and not ever walk. I didn't stop at all and walk, although I did get slower a little for awhile. But I never walked. Both goals met. :-)

Taking Beth Moore's advice, I "planned my victory" by meeting my running buddy, Emily, at her house and riding with her. That way, I couldn't chicken out if I had trouble finding a parking spot like I did last month for a zumba class. (Still haven't tried zumba, but my BFF, Missy who is a personal trainer, has it, so we are going to do it sometime in my living room and let the kids play upstairs.)

When we first got there, I felt kind of insecure, but then I got over it as I saw more and more friends, and we got excited about the start. There were lots, I mean LOTS of people there. Even though there were two distances, I didn't feel inferior to those doing the longer distance like I always used to in my 20's. This time I was just proud of myself for getting prepared and getting out there. Except for a 2-mile race in Gainesville right before the Homecoming parade, all the other races I have done were 5K's, but they were in Gainesville, Jacksonville, and Atlanta. I never knew more than one or two people at any of those races, and usually those were the people with whom I had ridden. I liked this sooooo much better, because I felt at home with all the people from school (at least 10 of my co-workers ran) a ton of my former students, the cross-country teams from several schools both nearby and farther away, running and non-running friends, and just a bunch of people I know because our town is so small. We parked in our church parking lot, right where I am used to parking. The girls who took my registration were my sons' teachers. The people giving out water are one of my friends' parents. This familiarity was both completely different and completely wonderful for me, and I am so glad I chose this as the first race of my second generation of running. I would not have (obviously, as evidenced from last year's efforts) the courage, motivation, gumption, self-confidence - whatever you want to call it - to do it in a strange place.

I loved having people that I know on the sidelines cheering us on! I usually run in the dark or in my basement because I don't want people to see me. Today was a huge risk because I was going to be hanging out there for all to see. I don't think I felt uncomfortable one time about people watching me. I can't remember even thinking about it. That is shocking to me. (I don't have a therapist, but if I did, I am sure s/he would say that is progress.)

I think it is important on this journey to learn what works for each individual. Every runner has different needs, different strengths. I have learned that I run better and farther with a friend. This week I had to run alone a lot and I was lonely and bored. I know it is an individual sport, but I enjoy the companionship of others - and I need it to keep progressing.

People who inspire me: two moms that live in our community who both suffer from MS. I read once about Kristin Armstrong, Lance Armstrong's ex-wife, who is a distance runner, and how she says to herself, "I GET to run today." Instead of plodding along and thinking, "I HAVE to run today," she celebrates her health and wellness and the physical ability to run. I know these two moms would love to run - even if it were just up the stairs to get their children, and into the house with the groceries, or outside to the mailbox. They can't, or at least they can't very easily. I take so many things for granted and I have wasted too much time and energy hating my body instead of celebrating the physical wellness and functionality with which God has blessed me. I think of both of these girls on EVERY run and I carry them in my heart as I (relatively) easily put one foot in front of the other. They inspire me to push my body to be stronger, faster, healthier. They are the biggest inspiration I have. I told one of them that today after the race. I had never told anyone that before today - I guess I just kept it as my own little secret until now. I'll keep them in my heart on every future run, too.

After that, my sentiments go south fast. Vanity kicks in and I tell myself, "I just want to be skinny, I don't care how fast I go, or how far, as long as I lose 20 pounds." So far, I have only lost 4 pounds, apparently all from my left boob. Seriously.....

The girl who won the two-mile race ran it twice as fast as I did. For real. 12 minutes? Are you flipping kidding me? Here's the kicker: she is just as sweet and pretty as she is fast (darn it!) and she ran in Gator NikeTempos just like mine. Her body is nothing short of KILLER. She is right up there with Kelly Ripa, and she's my new hero.

Two of my youngest son's classmates and friends ran the two-mile in 13 and 14 minutes. Is that normal for 9- and 10-year-olds? I'm thinking someone needs to send that into Sports Illustrated.

Where do we go from here? Emily and I are going to take on a 5K next month - can't remember where she said.....I don't care as long as it is a little cooler than today.

I have to give a big shout-out to our uber-encourager, Joyce, who sets an example for all of us with her kindness as much as with her fitness. Thanks, Joyce, from all of us newbies! It was hot and fun, and we did it. and I am soooo proud of us!

Dear Kate:

2010-08-13T02:51:00.003-05:00

Kate Spade, that is. I have a request. Please hurry and make a really cute cover for my iPhone 4 with pink and green and polka dots or stripes. I love the ones for 3GS, but all they have for the new ones are black and I don't want to look like a manly-man.

Chipper, I can't believe you hurt yourself. I am so glad we went to see you a couple of weeks ago. Will you come back? I say right now it is 50/50. I can see two scenarios. One, he is tired, loaded and doesn't need to prove anything to anyone. He can get his knee fixed and do whatever he wants the rest of his life, in or out of baseball. The other, he wants to go out in style. He wants to be announced loud and clear one last time at every ballpark in the Majors. He always enjoyed the attention, and I think he thinks he deserves it. However, if the recovery and rehab are really painful and hard, and he tries to come back but sucks really bad, he would be embarrassed and want to quit during his farewell tour. Trust me, people, I know these things. What do you think?

Running: I have been running A LOT lately. Like, oh, I don't know, 15-20 miles per week. I know, it is a lot for me, but not for some people. Yesterday I got a new pair of kicks - tried on Mizuno Wave something, a butt ugly pair of Nikes with memory foam in the insole, another pair of Nikes and a pair of asics that were comfy, but decided on the asics Gel Platinum 3. They feel awesome. First race in about 15 years is this Saturday.

It's only a 2-mile but there is a 6-mile distance as well. It is at 8:00 am which is stupid because it is so stinking hot right now. Humans are not supposed to live in this, much less run in it. I also think it is weird that we have 2-mile and 6-mile instead of 5K and 10K like the rest of the world. I think it makes our town seem podunk. Oh, wait, we are a little podunk.

Thankfully, due to a lot of help and encouragement and consistent training, I feel prepared. One of my running buddies wants me to run a half with her. The other one says, "I am not runnin' no half marathon, I just want to be skinny!" Who do I listen to? Well, how about myself?

The boys had back-to-school night. Thrilled with their teachers. W was a little bummed about some of his BFF's not being in his class, but he was excited about some of the kids that are in there. I am always encouraging them to make new friends, and after everything we have been through this summer, we are hoping that everything will go smoothly this year. Oh, who am I kidding? I was mad because the doors were locked when we got there and we had to walk around outside and it was HOT, the tables in the fifth grade classroom are TOO SMALL, the newly-adopted math textbook is NOT challenging enough, and T's high ability class is not cluster-grouped very well. at all. by academic ability or behavior. Come. on. There are some uber-bright kiddos in that class and they need to be encouraged and pushed, not distracted and punished (by special area teachers who out of necessity often evaluate the entire class as a whole). T had five migraines this summer as a result of getting yelled at in baseball by the toughest coach ever: dad. So now back to that other comment, it's not brain surgery; it's just elementary school. Let's not freak out.

Except that I have in the last week gotten a huge, exciting reason to freak out. But you have to wait to the next post to find out what it is!

Oh, and one more thing. Dear Tiger: Karma's a bitch. You need to hang out with Tim Tebow, but not at his barber's.

Head's up! Whitaker is back in the goalie box!

2010-08-08T15:01:00.001-05:00

I need to update on Whitaker. Last Tuesday we met with Dr. Charles Stevenson, the wonderful pediatric neurosurgeon that operated on Whitaker in June. He evaluated Whitaker's balance, strength, vision, coordination, and all the other neuro-functions that could be affected by the Chiari repair surgery. Dr. Stevenson said that despite the large size of the craniectomy that he executed on Whitaker, he thought W looked GREAT and he cleared him for normal activities after just six weeks of recovery. He cautioned against no trampolines or anything else that could cause him to get jolted in the neck/head area, but said that he could play soccer this year and he could even head the soccer ball. I'm not crazy about that, but hey, I'll take good news in any way, shape or form.

Last week both boys played soccer in a four-day mini-camp. Whitaker did awesome, had no headaches, and has increased stamina beyond what he had before the surgery. We are so amazed, thankful, and excited that he is doing so well. It is remarkable, if not miraculous, that Whitaker has recovered so fully, so quickly. I know that everyone's prayers and concern contributed greatly to his successful surgery and recovery, and John and I will never be able to express how much the support from friends and family means to us.

I have to give a big shout out to the Perry County Youth Soccer League for allowing us to register Whitaker for soccer way past the deadline for the fall season. Since we had been told he could not do organized sports for three months, we did not fill out the forms and pay the registration fee. However, we got the good report from the neurosurgeon just before the teams were rostered, and they were nice enough to let him get on a team. That means the world to him since he didn't think he was going to get to do any sports until basketball.

Things Whitaker can't do ever:
Lacrosse/field hockey
football :-(
wrestling
some gymnastics moves (head-stands, hanging upside down)
combative martial arts (non-contact martial arts are okay)
boxing
rugby

Things Whitaker shouldn't do ever:
trampoline
skateboarding
motorcyclying
rough roller-coasters
bungee-jumping
sky-diving
cliff-diving
race-car driving
pillow fighting
tubing on the river (because of risk of head injury when falling off)
intense weight-lifting (due to risk of CSF leak when straining)
space travel

Things Whitaker can do (carefully, of course):
baseball/softball
tennis
raquetball
basketball
soccer
golf
running
swimming (pool and river)
diving
kickball
fishing
hunting
dodgeball (only if balls make contact from waist-down)
volleyball
bicycling (not stunt-bikes, just distance riding)
camping
hiking
bowling
billiards
corn-hole
ping pong
zip-lining
mountain-climbing (with protective head gear and safety ropes)
snorkeling
surfing

As you can see, there are PLENTY of activities to keep us all busy that are completely safe and fun, and will promote wellness and fitness. We choose to concentrate on all the things he CAN do, rather than those he can't or shouldn't. Most of the things that he shouldn't do are either not likely (space travel, race-car driving), or not recommended for healthy people (cliff-diving, bungee-jumping). However, since Whitaker was a wrestler, a football player, and a motorocycle-rider, there are some things on the list that will constitute some life-style changes. The more common activities such as trampoline, pillow fighting, and tubing will be more of a daily challenge for him, and therefore us. Thankfully - God made Whitaker a little afraid of heights and crazy roller-coasters, so unlike his brother, Whitaker will be completely content to keep his feet firmly on the soccer field, or the basketball court.

I'm grouchy

2010-08-03T18:37:00.000-05:00

I am having a crazy day. I spent the morning in court and for the second time gave up 2 and half hours of my life without ever doing what I was supposed to be doing there. and I have to go back again. grrrrr

I have spent the afternoon working on paperwork for school, which is going really well, except for the blog part. I did the photo release form, and the parent newsletter, but now I am trying to create the blogs for each class really quickly. One problem: I am not quick at these things. I am trying to plant my feet firmly in the 21st century and set an example as a media specialist, but neither of those seems to be working right now. I will post the link to the blogs whenever I get them going. Gotta get back to working on that.

Oh yeah - and I ate chocolate ice cream and pretzel m&m's for supper. On what planet is that a healthy choice? I'm hot and tired and I have sooooo much to do. later. See, I told you I was grouchy.

Kathy and Kelly make me laugh

2010-07-27T17:11:00.000-05:00

Okay, when I was pregnant for two years and 17 months, I LOVED the Rosie O'Donnell show. That was before she went all 9-11-conspiracy-theory-psycho Rosie, and she was still funny-new mom-loves her kids-does-nice-things-for-people Rosie. I credit her with getting me through two first trimesters when I seriously didn't think I could deal one more day with my self-absorbed, anxiety-ridden, occupationally-unstable self. Thankfully that is all in the past, now. (ha ha!)

Then I continued my obsession with Kelly Ripa, which still goes on today. She makes me laugh and makes me want to do sit-ups and run five miles a day so my legs could look like hers. And I just love her....as we all know.

So, Kathy Griffin is pretty much the funniest thing since Kelly. I first fell in love with her when she was on the show called THE CELEBRITY MOLE with Anderson Cooper, before anyone knew who AC was. or that he is gay.

Anyway, I know sometimes Kathy gets a little raunchy (how do you spell that, anyway?) and I could do without hearing GD every 5 seconds, but she is so smart and witty and brilliant. Did I mention she WON that Mole show? She flat-out cracks me up. I don't know what I am going to do about missing all my Bravo when I go back to school. Maybe need to just set DVR to EVERY show on Bravo and HGTV. Here's my rundown:

Rachel Zoe - scary skinny, but still intriguing and I love watching her show. Hope she doesn't plan on having a kid, because it's not going to happen. Wait, Nicole Richie had two babies, so maybe there is hope for Venti Starbucks with three Splendas in her over-sized rings and vintage clothes.

Project Runway - Yeah, I know it moved to Lifetime, but it started on Bravo, so I still give Bravo props. It is super-fun, creative and I totally admire the talent. Can't stop watching!! Love it when they freak out and cry. Love me some Tim Gunn.

Houswives - OMG where do I start. Okay - OC housewives just make me sick and they are ridiculous. I used to watch it like a train wreck that I couldn't stop looking at, but then I gave that up. NJ - I like until it gets all ghetto-call-the-police-filing-protective orders-crazy, and then I don't like that so much.
NYC - MY ABSOLUTE FAVE - maybe because I love NYC, maybe because I love all of the shots of Manhattan, but I totally think those women are deliciously despicable. and you can quote me on that!
Atlanta - I tried to watch one season, but having been an Atlanta housewife myself once, I actually KNOW, rather than just suspect, how unrealistic it is......so I had to give it up. Go to Buckhead, Bravo. Check out Dunwoody, Alpharetta, and Roswell, then come talk to me with your show. DC remains to be seen....I do have to do that working thing in a few weeks, so TV may be off for a while (gasp!) (sob!)

Top Chef - stupid because the viewers cannot TASTE the food, we just have to take the judges' words for it. I can make my own opinion about PR, but I can't tell you if I like the nasty crap they make on that show or not.

Also - I love me some ACE of CAKES and I don't like Cake Boss because he's mean and he yells. I love any Challenge show on the Food Network which has anything to do with sugar, cake, chocolate, or anything that you can actually see. If it is lobster stew, save it for the judges and I will switch to ANTM. Cupcake Wars is AWESOME, as is Selling New York (HGTV), other HGTV staples Color Splash with David Bromstad, and Bang for Your Buck, and, of course, the Discovery Channel fave, Cash Cab - all versions: day, night, double-dare, whatever. Give me Ben Bailey straight up any day.

Yesterday while recovering from some horrible stomach virus, I watched a marathon of You're Cut Off! More despicable people. Not quite as disturbing as the Toddlers and Tiaras show, but definitely not a fine example of people treating others nicely. until the end. the VERY end, which was too little too late for me.

Of course, no television list would be complete without the boys' summer hit: WIPEOUT! They want me to be on it. Last year I actually filled out the online application, but this year I am not doing that because it looks mega-hard. and painful. And since I started running, I am experiencing plenty of self-inflicted pain.

Today's weight is 122, probably due to above-mentioned stomach virus, but I'll take it. Peace out, peeps!

it's hotter than blue blazes in here....

2010-07-23T23:47:00.001-05:00

My mom used to say that when I was younger and she was hot. It's my go-to simile for days like today.

It has been almost six weeks since Whitaker's surgery and he is doing super. He has no more headaches (yay!), he has more energy than he did before, but he still can't really do anything. He cannot get hot, and it is about 101 in the shade right now. He can't ride a bike, run, jump, lift anything, exert himself, etc. Up until this week he has been fairly cooperative with all of that, perhaps because he tired quickly, and his energy levels were still rebuilding. Now he is starting to get a little frustrated. We are so thankful that he feels well, but still not allowing him to go to the baseball tournament tomorrow with a heat advisory. He is 10, and 10-year-old little boys just like to move around a lot! We see the doctor next week to find out what our parameters are for back-to-school and going forward. We remain thankful as ever that he has done so well.

Speaking of school, I am starting to freak out a little bit. Or a lot. There are some things up in the air right now, and I am feeling overwhelmed and unprepared for the year to begin. I am telling myself that since I was able to complete my High/Scope preschool training and earn an "A" in my killer online technology class, all while experiencing the surgery and recovery of my child, I probably can pretty much do anything. I am woman.

The best thing that has happened this summer is that I have actually started RUNNING!!! Of course, about a year ago, I started a blog about "running," but didn't really get the running thing to take off. Since last summer I have registered for and skipped two 5K races, purchased running shoes, Under Armor pants, two pairs of Nike Tempo running shorts, and a subscription to Runner's World magazine, but all that was just getting me prepared to become a rock star runner. (Truthfully, I was stressed-out, over-committed, and lazy; now God has blessed me with some great friends and just enough motivation to put my shoes on and get out the door.)

I am dedicated to doing at least three miles five times a week. I can't run it all yet, but I am getting better. I got my new iPhone 4 (awesome) and a Nike plus sensor for my shoe, so everything is calibrated for me. Everything means calories, distance, time, average pace, etc. I LOVE my friends who go with me. Even if we are not sharing enthusiasm or energy levels, we still encourage each other and we always have fun, and honestly, I would not be doing if it weren't for them. It is much-needed girl time.

Today's weight: 124.5, but that isn't really my focus. I want to eat right and be healthy. I am not saying I don't want that number to go down, but after spending six days in a children's hospital this summer, I realize how trivial that number is. I like to and need to think happy thoughts, and think about all my countless blessings, which would take forever.

So, no races in my near future, just gonna keep on trying at least five nights a week. and praying about school. and staying in the air conditioning!

I think that's it for now - stay cool, cyber-friends!!

Wednesday

2010-06-30T07:10:00.001-05:00

Good Morning, World! This is a beautiful day! It is SUMMER! Since I just finished my graduate classwork last night, I feel like today is my first day of summer break! Here are the things I know right now:

This is the day the Lord has made! Let us rejoice and be glad in it!!
My house is going to get some serious cleaning up today.
Celebrity gossip is a totally fun distraction and a great way to get some awesome perspective.
My favorite celebrities are Kelly Ripa, Kelly Ripa, and Kelly Ripa
I cannot wait until my new iPhone comes!!
My husband is on the golf course again
My sweet boys are going to have to help clean the playroom today. It's not going to be pretty
I want to get rid of so much garbage in my house - I think I will call the Salvation Army.
Pink will always be my favorite color
coffee, chocolate and roses are three of my other favorite things.
HGTV rocks....pretty much everything on HGTV.

Gotta go create the cutest thank you cards in the history of the world....using pictures of my child, of course!

have a wonderful Wednesday everyone!!!

Finally - bird video is on youtube

2010-06-29T10:15:00.000-05:00

Bird video - check this out!

you are not gonna believe this.....

2010-06-29T08:32:00.000-05:00

Okay sorry for taking so long between updates. Major busy week last week. Except I can't tell you much what I was doing other than looking for my lost checkbook, which I still cannot find, taking Whitaker out for daily air-conditioned rides in the car, and working on a massive, annoying, seemingly endless project for my Library Media Technology class I am taking right now. Almost done. Thank God.

Other stuff: We went to see "Grown Ups" and the boys LOVED it. John and I thought it was really funny and not even raunchy at all. (how do you spell "raunchy" anyway?) Whitaker got his stitches out today and he is doing awesome. He only flinched a couple of times and I was so proud of him. I really like the Nurse Practitioner that worked with us today. She is super sweet. The incision looks a little bad today but it is just a step in the healing process. He is very excited about getting to swim tomorrow. Tomorrow is full of fun as the new Harry Potter Lego Wii game is coming out, and we are going to the Tuesday morning free movie at the theater. yee-ha!

I ordered iPhone 4's today for John and me, and they will be here in three weeks. So excited about that and really hoping we can drop our home phone - we are hardly ever here anyway and mostly it just gets messages, so I'm thinking it is on its way out. Plus, despite loving my iPhone, I kind of strongly dislike AT&T so I am all about paying them as little as possible.

John has played golf four times in the last week, so don't let him whine to you about never getting to play golf. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve to play, and I know he works really hard all the rest of the time, but he has played OFTEN lately. Today we looked at new irons for him so he could get his old ones cut off for the boys. He won enough gift certificates in his recent scrambles to buy new golf shoes at the pro shop, so I guess it's all good. Right now he is watching a movie that I don't want to watch which will have repercussions for him later.

Whitaker still cannot get hot, get rowdy, run, jump, dive, etc. for four more weeks, but he can throw a ball in the backyard and dribble around as long as he stays hydrated. The risk of developing a CSF leak is almost completely gone, so as long as we keep praying and don't let him stand on his head while watching TV, we should be in the clear. We feel so blessed and so relieved that the surgery was successful and that his recovery has been as smooth as it has. We are so thankful for all of our friends who have brought food, presents, balloons, games, cards, candy, and smiles to us in addition to their prayers. You will all get a thank-you note eventually, but we can never thank you enough.

If possible, I am going to upload a video of what happened at our house yesterday while John was ~~playing golf~~ winning his golf tournament. It is amusing and might serve as more evidence that we should have our own reality show. Not in a crazy-balloon-boy-family sort of way, just a funniest home vidoes sort of way.

O.M.G.

2010-06-20T22:46:00.001-05:00

Short update tonight because I can hardly keep my eyes open. Partly because one of them is highly infected.
Here's a timeline of today; happily reporting that it is rather boring other than the getting out part.

7:30 am Substitute neurosurgeon came in and said, if he eats he can go home today.

9:00 - We slowly get up and Whitaker does not want to eat.

9:30 John goes to my parents' house in St. Matthews to get Tretter ready to go to basketball camp at Franklin College.

10:00 My parents bring Tretter to see Whitaker and to tell me goodbye before he leaves. Uncharacteristically sweet and heartfelt exchanges between the boys showed that they will both be happy when things get back to normal.

10:45 My dad takes Tretter back to his house where our good friends are meeting to pick John and him up.

11:00 slightly bitchy nurse from yesterday comes in to ask if we are ready to leave. We tell her that Whitaker has only eaten A GRAPE, and that the doctor said we could go home IF he eats and feels well.

11:15 lunch arrives; Whitaker is not interested in it.

12:00 slightly bitchy nurse comes back to ask if we are ready to leave. We tell her that we are taking it slow and easy and not rushing him, and that he still hasn't eaten much. She says the paperwork is ready when we are.

12:15 Whitaker has eaten almost all of the grapes and eats a couple of bites of his lunch (which was awesome, because I ate the rest when he was done.)

12:30 Mom and I decide we are good to go, he says he feels fine, we pack up stuff and tell nurse we are ready for discharge papers.

12:35 she has finished going over the paperwork and made me sign everything and she was going to call a transport person.

12:36-12:47 I cannot find my car keys in the mess of crap we have frantically packed the last two days in anticipation of getting out. I start to freak a little, but only inside, of course, because I rarely freak out on the outside.

12:50 - find keys, go get car, load up Mom and Whitaker and go successfully (aka: puke-free) to my parents' home (only four miles from Kosair!)

the rest of the day went like this: eat a little sleep a little, eat a little, watch a little golf, John comes back, give father's day cards, load up stuff and go HOME to our house! (all puke-free....yay!)

On the way home, I called my nurse friend MG and asked her if she could come over later to look at my eye as it continues to swell and is painful. She says she will when she finishes eating. Later, I remember that today is her birthday and I feel like a total heel for calling her. I call her cell phone and tell her to forget it, but she came anyway and brought her daughter who is Whitaker's BFF since Kindergarten. She looked at my eye, said it was a stye that became what she believes is peri-orbital cellulitis and I need to see a doctor, but not tonight. This was wonderful news, because we all know what a great procrastinator I am.

So first item up for bid in the morning is a doctor visit to see what the heck is up in my eyelid and then a trip to the vet to get the dog. When the dog comes home, he is coming in the house, because dogs are therapeutic, so there.

I'm really tired, like I-came-home-from-the-hospital-with-a-new-baby tired. So peace to everyone, and thank you all for all your support.

I'll check in tomorrow and tell you about my lovely eye. ;-)

Ready, Set, NO!

2010-06-19T21:35:00.000-05:00

Last night, Whitaker had a hard time getting comfortable and did not get very much sleep at all. Therefore, neither did I. When I woke up this morning, my eyelid which has been hurting progressively each day this week, was almost swollen shut. It looks awful and I took a picture of it and put it on facebook to request help from my nurse friends/family on facebook. I cannot understand why no one clicked "like" underneath that picture. It is so lovely. ;-) The responses were varied throughout the day, but the verdict is a stress-induced stye that might need medication to get better. I really appreciated everyone's suggestions, and have tried some warm compresses which may have reduced the swelling a tiny bit. It still hurts like crazy and looks "pretty gross" in Tretter's words.

Our day started like this:

Substitute Neurosurgeon comes in and looks at the back of Whitaker's head, says he looks good, and we can go home. Some student nurse comes in to take his vitals and takes FOREVER doing it. Nurses give him meds again, and he looks really tired and uncomfortable. John and I feverishly start to pack, excited to bust out of this joint.

The nutritional team brings breakfast, and Whitaker has no interest in it; he looks kind of nauseous and requests a bath. Then he says, "Sooner or later, I'm going to throw up." Great.

Nurse: May we help you?
Room 427: Can we get some more emesis bags, please?

Then we had some confusing exchange from a slightly bitchy nurse that was not keen on typing up discharge papers for us and told us to settle down because it would be at least an hour. Then we told her we didn't want to leave if he wasn't eating and doesn't feel well. We requested more zofran, because it is the reason he still has two IV ports in. Blah, blah, blah, we didn't leave today.

Whitaker refused to eat any lunch as well, kind of fell asleep, and John left to go mow yards in Tell City. My dad came and then my mom brought Tretter.

Here is where my day got MUCH more fun. I left the hospital, repeat: left the hospital, and went out to eat at Buckhead with my dad and Tretter. It was hot out there, but I didn't care because I got to see the sun, and the river, and Tretter. After lunch we checked on Whitaker (still asleep) and my dad took me to their house to take a shower and put on clean clothes. After a short discussion, I decided to take Tretter to the movies and dad decided to go back to the hospital to be with my mom and Whitaker, and John's parents.

We initially went to see Toy Story 3 because we have heard great things, but when we got there, Tretter wanted to see Karate Kid, so we did. It was great! The acting was awesome, the scenery was gorgeous, and yes, I liked it more than the original. Jaden Smith is absolutely ADORABLE. Two thumbs way up from us! Tretter let me hold his hand in and out of the theater, which means, he still loves me and he might have even missed me a little. He leaves tomorrow for basketball camp in Franklin, Indiana and it is his second sleep-away experience for more than one night, the first being this whole week he spent with our friends who graciously agreed to keep him and take care of him while we were at Kosair. When he comes home, we are going to have lots of snuggling to do. I feel like he has grown up all of a sudden, in a matter of days. I would likely go to pieces about that, if it weren't for the fact that I already have internalized enough stress.

When we returned to the hospital, some friends were here visiting, and John had returned. My parents were still hanging out and John's had just left. We visited for a little while, and Whitaker was feeling better. Shortly they all left and Whitaker put in a movie, which is just about over and we are going to try very hard for a better night than last night. Hope I find my house in one piece.

Peace out!

fun and full Friday

2010-06-18T22:27:00.000-05:00

A very excited Whitaker eating a good lunch. Who knew how much hosptial food had improved? It actually is awesome here! He wasn't quite ready for breakfast today, but by lunchtime, he was holding nothing back.

He read magazines today and fussed at me for not giving them to him sooner. I'm pretty sure I offered, or I would have, if he had been interested. When I offered, he was in ICU, and he looked like this:

We obviously like it much better when he looks like this:

Whitaker's full Friday included two meals with brownies for dessert, a bath, a development and disappearance of a rash, a visit from two neurosurgery nurse practiotioners, two physical therapists, one nutritional consultant, all four grandparents (who have been here everyday), two uncles, one aunt, three out of five cousins, the one and only special brother (complete with double-back-tap-bro-hug), a family of friends, the neurosurgeon, and one extremely nice Chaplain named Steve.

Highlights include a care package with balloons from the Lady Marksmen basketball team (super sweet!), the game ball from Wednesday night's baseball game signed by his entire team (sniff, sniff) and Granddaddy downloading a texting app to his iPod touch (watch out, world!)

(sigh)

I'm pooped.

We might get to go home tomorrow.

Thank you, God for all our blessings, our health, our insurance, and our Whitaker.

Much, Much BETTER Day!

2010-06-17T23:00:00.000-05:00

We started out the day with more puking, but since then have made a huge improvement. He is off the morphine, has his bandage off, is out of ICU (in room 427!), and he is talking more, eating more, and tinkling more. He has been pushing my buttons again, which brought a big grin to his face, and he is currently trying to stay awake to watch the Celtics win.

He has been getting up and down out of bed some, not moving his head from side to side a whole lot, but has been tolerating food, drink and medicine, which is great. We really believe that the worst is behind us.

Not sure how much longer we will be here, but we don't really care since he is doing so much better. We will stay as long as they want us to.

At his request, I took a picture of his incision with my phone and showed it to him. He made me promise not to put it on facebook or the blog. So I won't. But in a rare moment of good-mommyhood, I took a picture of the front of him first and made him look at his face and how healthy and normal he looks from the front before I let him look at the back of his head. I felt that would be reassuring, and it sort of was. He decided he didn't look too amused in the picture, so that motivated him to play a trick on me, which was mean, and shows he is almost back to his old self. gotta love that! He thought the back of his head looked bad and that he looked like Frankenstein. We told him it looked really, really good considering what all was done to him. Of course, we think he is adorable, but he is particularly adorable when he feels well.

Thanks again for everyone's kind thoughts, cards, and especially prayers. When he gets all better, we are going to have a huge "Well Whitaker" party to celebrate. Everyone is invited, and I do mean EVERYONE. Even if we don't know you or you don't even like us, you are still invited to come celebrate the wellness. It won't be for three months, because we have to follow doctor's orders, but I'll let you know.

Here are a couple of pics - not the ones I promised not to post, but a couple of others from our week.

above: pre-op with some happy juice. below: post-op and not so happy

peace to all.

better, better, better

2010-06-17T17:13:00.000-05:00

Successes: lots of pee and no more pee problems. (Yippee!) Baby L got good news this morning and some more good news this evening, so prayers are working for her too!!!

Started off the day kind of rough - was awake from about three to six andhe couldn't get comfortable. We moved the pillows, the bed, and his head, but he just kind of grunted at us a couple of times. This morning he got really sick when the neurosurgeon's nurses were in there and asking him about trying to eat something. Just the thought of eating something solid mad him puke all over the place. Then they worked out some more zofran and less morphine to see if that combination would help. So far, so good. He has had two doses of liquid baclivan (sp??) by mouth, and one colace pill, some blue slushy and now some chicken noodle soup and all of that has stayed where it was put! Another huge success.

Still in a small cubicle in the ICU and not too hopeful that we are getting out of there. Got the bandage off this morning and did great - he didn't even whimper. The incision is awesome-looking - no infections, swelling, or drainage. He got in the chair two times and sat up for a while, once for an hour and once for about a half an hour. He had a pretty good nap and he hopefully will have a good night.

Thanks for all your continued thoughts and prayers.

baby "L" is crying

2010-06-16T20:25:00.000-05:00

I don't know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing, but it is stressing me out. I also am slightly to severely stressed out because my child cannot pee. He has puked out more than what has been put in today, but they are still probably going to cath him if he doesn't produce something in the next three hours. I feel so helpless because he is just laying there.

Earlier today, he did get out of bed and sit in a chair. The doctor came in and explained some things to us, but basically just reassured us that anything kids do is acceptable because every kid is different. He asked Whitaker if he had been watching the World Cup and if he watched the US. Whit said no, so the doc asked him if he could remember what teams he did watch. Whitaker thought about it for a moment and said, "Japan and Camaroon." I was trying to remember and all I could come up with was a visual image of an Oriental guy in my head, so I am taking his correct answer as a great sign of his cognitive abilities.

Spending the night (or until further notice) in ICU. Can't sleep much due to lots of beeping and checking and children crying, but W gets really good care in here, so it's all good. Just hoping tonight is quieter than last night and tomorrow is a better day.

Summary: Couple of med changes, hoping for some pee, still waiting for a regular room, not even close to being ready for visitors.

and one more thing.....how ironic is it that they have a MCDONALD'S in a hospital? I'm thankful for the coffee, though, and please say a prayer for baby "L". Her daddy just came over and gave us cupcakes and offered some movies for Whitaker to watch, but he's so not interested. She's sleeping now, too.

another day, another bag of fluid

2010-06-16T11:54:00.000-05:00

Whitaker is having a little bit of a rough day. The nurses are assuring us that he looks "good" and is doing "great" even though it may not seem great to us. He cannot sit up without puking, which he hates. The bed has been adjusted to where he is sitting almost all the way up and his incision is not leaking too much, but it is still kind of nasty. All of this is to be expected after such a surgery, but it is still hard to see him laying there and know he doesn't feel well. We have asked for a different medicine for nausea next time since that other one (Zofran??) doesn't seem to be working. Some one sent a gift and when they brought it in they asked he wanted it now or later and he said later. He is still in the ICU and we are hoping to move to a regular room later today.

Next to us they have moved in a baby who was born with half a heart. They are a young couple and they have been here for 27 days. She is so cute and if you want to pray for little "L" while you're praying for Whitaker to quit puking that would be great.

I am going to need so many spa treatments when this is all over. Luckily John is great with Whitaker, all the time, but especially when he doesn't feel well. Therefore, I am forbidding John to leave - at least today. If you don't get your lawn mowed, please understand.

He is sleeping now - says his pain is between a three and a five on a scale of 1-10, but he is not about to move unless forced to do so. The catheter is out (I'm sure he will love that I shared that) and his vitals are all stable and strong. We stroked him a little and told him that he will not feel like this for long - even though he feels bad right now. I think he wants to believe that.

I really, really appreciate how kind and supportive everyone has been and I would ask that you please keep the prayers coming. We know that all the love, prayers, and positive thoughts helped the surgery go well, so now we just ask the same for the recovery!! We are hoping things take a turn for the better very soon! This is a great hospital and everyone here is very knowledgeable and helpful. I know with each passing moment that we are closer to being out of here, so I am just trying to hang in there, one moment at a time.

More later.....lyons, out!

Thank God for parents

2010-06-15T16:09:00.001-05:00

It has been a loooong day here at Kosair Children's Hospital and my Whitaker is blessed to have had four grandparents here the WHOLE time! Here at the crack of dawn with us, they have brought coffee, offered moments for laughter, been good listeners, worked sudoku puzzles, and shared their electronic toys all day. I cannot express in words how much this means to John and me and I am sure, one day, to Whitaker.

Even though we know there is a recovery road ahead, it makes it better to know that there are reinforcements supporting us as parents and ready to step in with a hand, or a sandwich anytime.

So, if you see Agnes or Gene Lyons, or Bonnie or Steve Johnson, you can say, "Hey, I heard you spent a day in the hospital!" and they might share their point of view. Any of us would have rather been the patient, but hanging out together made the day more bearable.

Out of surgery

2010-06-15T15:43:00.000-05:00

Forgive me if there are typos, I am using my dad's iPad, and although it is awesome, the set up is a little different than my laptop.

We got the word that Whitaker was out of Surgery about three hours and forty-five minutes after the doctor made the initial incision. We went to a conference room and then Dr. Stevenson came in to talk to us. He said that Whitaker did great and assured us that he was doing fine before he went through the surgery with us step by step. Dr. Stevenson found that the first vertebrae, which was going to have half removed in the course of surgery, had actually fused to the base of the skull and therefore, the growth hormones would likely never have made enough room back there. Because of this, he removed all of the first vertebrae, after he separated the fused part from the skull. He told us this was not a big deal, just affirmation that the Chiari malformation was not going to be correctable without surgery. He said that he tried to see if the decompression of the brain would be adequate by only removing a portion of the skull, without going into the fluid-filled sack at the top of the spinal cavity, but it wasn't going to do the trick. Therefore, he went ahead with what he calls, "the full Monty". He did all the other parts of the operation, which included opening the pocket that protects the cerebellum, shrinking the tonsil that was descended below the base of the skull, and carefully, meticulously inserting an expandable patch to take the place of the missing bone pieces.

He also said that whitaker's neck is bigger than his, so he could absolutely not get away with dissolvable sutures. When the bandage comes off, he will have big black stitches for two weeks until he goes back for his post op check.

Whitaker is in ICU now and John and I went back to see him. He was trying to get comfortable and has wanting to lay on his face so the nurses/doctors/team of people back there in his room worked it out so he is laying flat, but still at a 20-degree angle. The risk of a leak of craniospinal fluid is greater if he is laying flat, so he has to be at a 30-degree angle until he gets out of he hospital. His incision is not bad, but the shaved part and the iodine make it look a little angry. He was asking for ice chips and John is giving them to him. There is only room back there for one at a time, and John is good at this part (which is code for "I don't want to be in there if he pukes") and John has to leave tomorrow to go to a conference in another city, so I am being "generous" and letting John be with him. I'll go check on him and give john a break after I update the blog!

dog update

2010-06-10T12:27:00.001-05:00

Long story short....my wonderful friend Barb sent me links to two places:
here, http://www.softpaws.net/?gclid=CMjbltCClqICFYd-5QodsBxuGg
where I got some nail covers for the dog that are acrylic or plastic and you glue on over his own nails.......

and I got him some booties from here: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=bl_sr_kitchen?ie=UTF8&search-alias=garden&field-brandtextbin=Ultra%20Paws%20Durable%20Dog%20Boots

Monday, John went to play golf, I picked the dog up from the vet and gave him a bath, flea/tick treatment and massage and brushing. Then I put the nail tips on him and I thought it helped a lot to keep him from scratching. When J came home, he was mad and grouchy for about two days. Then I whipped out the booties and they work PERFECTLY to make him not scratch the floors. I also played the sympathy card and told him that dogs are therapeutic in recovery and that we needed to do whatever we could to help Whitaker next week when we come home from the hospital. (No wonder he is such a maniputlative little guy!) Now the dog looks like this, happy and comfy in our house after his week of being an outside dog.

can you see the love on that face?Tebow is not totally crazy about the booties, but we are crazy about him, so this is how it is going to be. for a while. until the kids scratch the floor up so badly that the dog's marks will be unnoticeable. hehe

some great Chiari info

2010-06-10T10:41:00.002-05:00

Found an informative and easy-to-read sheet about Chiari Malformation here.

http://www.conquerchiari.org/awareness/Chiari%20Patient%20Education%20Sheet.pdf

Breif details about Whitaker: his "tonsil" of the cerebellum is descended 23 mm below the base of the skull. It is attached to the top of his spinal cord and there is VERY little to no cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) between the cerebellum and the rest of the brain. He has been symptomatic with severe headaches in the back of his head during coughing, sneezing, exercise, and when he wakes in the morning. He also sometimes vomits in the mornings and has difficulty swallowing when he is congested.

Surgery outline: 4-5 hours, and from what I understand, the doctor will do the following:

make an incision down the back of the neck at the base of the skull (about 4 or 5 inches)
cut through the neck muscles and remove a section of bone from the back of the skull
separate the top of the spinal cord from the tonsil
shoot electrodes through the elongated tonsil to shrink it
shrink the tonsil to the point where it is closer to if not all the way up to the base of the skull

this is where I get a little confused:

he will carefully sew in an expandable patch that will be at the top of the spinal cord and the base of the brain and cranium.
sew up the muscles and the fluid pouch at the top of the spinal cord
seal the opening

Whitaker will have a neurophysiologist (I think ??) monitoring his spinal cord and nerve activity the entire time. He will have an anaesthesiologist with him the entire time as well to watch the levels of anaesthesia. Yesterday he had blood taken so they could determine the levels and thickness of his blood in order to fully prepare for blood loss during surgery. We can give blood to be given to him, but it is only good for three days, so it would have to be Monday or Tuesday. My blood pressure is too low to be able to donate, but I have O- blood, so we may look for an alternative method. We are hoping he won't need any, but John might give some on Monday if he can. I am pretty sure John and Whitaker are both A+ but I can't remember for sure.

He will be in intensive care for the first 24 hours. Other than bleeding, and infection, there is a risk of developing a leak of CSF after the patch has been placed, which might require a drain. We really, really hope this does not happen. We know that all the prayers will work for him to have no complications and a smooth recovery.

He should be moved to a regular room after he gets out of the ICU. He will be there for a couple more days until he can eat and everything seems to be working well. Then we will come home and hopefully celebrate Father's Day together by being lazy and lounging.

The surgery will take place at Kosair Children's Hospital Our pediatric neurosurgeon is named Dr. Charles Stevenson. He is young and brilliant and we have every confidence in him. He went to SMU, then Vanderbilt, and is headed to Cincinnati Children's Hospital in a couple of months to become part of their team. We trust that God has put us in good hands.

Kosair Children’s Hospital

231 E. Chestnut St.
Louisville, KY 40202
(502) 629-6000
KosairChildrens.com

If you need to contact any of us, for anything, our cell phone numbers are as follows:

812-449-8981 (amy)
812-719-0402 (john)
502-819-5387 (Bon Bon - amy's mother)
502-777-4944 (Granddaddy- amy's father)
812-630-8282 (Grandma and Grandpa Lyons aka Gene and Agnes)

I will try to update people on the website or on facebook. Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts and prayers. We are so thankful that this is a fixable problem and that he is going to make a full and complete recovery.

Here are some pictures of Whitaker's MRI scans. His chiari and his spinal cord are basically fused, so it is hard to see anything except a big blob at the base of his skull and the top of his spine.

Another view looks like this, but I probably couldn't explain it if I had to.....

If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask me. We have nothing to hide, but we also don't always know the answers. We know that this is a routine surgery for pediatric neurosurgeons and we know that his Chiari is a large one, but we still are so thankful for so much: the diagnosis, the total lack of neurological damage, the resilience of children. If you have any knowledge to share, please feel free to write us or call us, as we are certainly open to suggestions. If you are a nurse and we come home with a drain, we might be calling you!

this guy is going bye-bye

2010-05-25T16:44:00.001-05:00

Here's my crazy scoop for today: floors are finally done, dog has been scratching them up ever since we put them down. John says dog has to go. Neighbor said our dog had his dog down on her back with her neck in his mouth and he had to kick him as hard as he could to get him off. Then dumb dog went after next-door neighbor's dog and did the same thing. We told the boys we would have to give him away and it was the same week that Whitaker had the hour and a half MRI, a not-so-great doctor's appointment, and we determined an approximate date for surgery. Whitaker cried, said his life was falling apart, that every time we get an animal it either dies or we give it away, blah, blah, blah.

So my dad escorted me kindly to Lowe's where we purchased an 8 foot long log chain to tie to his lead for him to drag. Not only does he not run as far, he doesn't go as fast either. This has helped with our outside problems, so I thought we were going to get to keep the dog. Until today. When John saw this absolutely gargantuan scratch the dog made right in the center of the family room. He said I have to think about where this dog is going, and then he slammed the door.

I am also trying to grade a mountain of papers, pack up my entire classroom, complete an online training course for Preschool, earn three more hours for library media (even though I will probably never get a library job), and survive the last three days of school with seventh and eighth graders. Plus, we got the date for Whitaker's surgery and it is June 15, just three weeks from today. I am so stressed right now my chest hurts, but don't worry, I already have an appointment for heart tests on June 3. If I make until then, I am certain they will tell me there is nothing wrong with me. It is all in my head. I am just crazy.

In addition to all of this, I am so fat that I am cramming myself into my fat clothes, which only constitute about 5% of my closet, so I have been wearing the same clothes for a whole semester now. I need a personal trainer fast. I hate my body. I don't think the timing is right at all to get rid of our dumb dog, even if that is the right thing to do. Now I gotta go watch baseball, and go eat with my in-laws. Our treat. :-)

I am trying to think of an invention that we could put some sort of gel-caps or something on the dogs claws that would at least help with the scratching. I have finally decided to try to day-quil gel-caps, empty them out, slide them over the end of the dog's claws and fasten them with the little rubber bands they use for braces. It might not work, but it is a start. I love him and the boys REALLY love him, and I don't want him to go. Any ideas, please advise.

boys, baseball, and beautiful wood

2010-05-19T20:37:00.001-05:00

Okay, so I haven't updated the blog in a while because we were busy doing this:

And then we went and did this:

and while we gone, my Tretter did this:

Yes, that is a nine-year-old, doing homework on a laptop, in a vehicle. Hello, 2010, where were you when I was in 3rd grade? Oh, yeah, it was 1980.

So eventually, the floor progressed like this:

and finally, it looks kind of like this:

Only it is completely finished now in the downstairs and we have enough left over to do the hallway upstairs (yippee!) and then we will be done for a while. In all of that hullabaloo, we removed the wood floor from the dining room, ground off the nails, carried it upstairs, removed the carpet from the boys' room, laid the old dining room wood floor in the boys' room, and laid our new Acacia Brazilian Cherry floors in the dining room and family room. It's gorgeous if I do say so myself.

In the meantime, since that whole process took about 3 and a half weeks, we had baseball

If you have a magnifying glass you will see Whitaker on second base, Tretter up to bat, and John as the third base coach. If you don't have a magnifying glass, you'll just have to take my word for it.

We also had Mother's Day, and this is my present:

They cleaned, vacuumed, and washed my vehicle for me, which was adorable, and a very nice gift. It was much-needed and much-appreciated. Until they vacuumed up my charger-cover.....and John had to fish it out of the new shop-vac.

and I, of course, thought this was hilarious.

We also had a rainstorm that prompted large trash bags for a slip and slide,

and a triathlon at the boys' elementary school.

How cute is that? All those little healthy kids warming up!

Finally, we also had an MRI on Whitaker that lasted an hour and 15 minutes (followed by barbecue ribs at Outback Steakhouse) and met with the neurosurgeon again. His scans had not changed - no improvement, but no increase in severity either - in the four months that he has been taking growth hormone treatments, so it seems he will need to have his Chiari I Malformation surgically "repaired." That seems like quite a euphemism to me, but I am the mom. The surgeon told us all this other info too, that I will post later. maybe. if I feel like it.

check it out - new flooring!!!

2010-04-23T16:44:00.003-05:00

Okay, first, I had to share to my super-cute little hunter. It was 4:37 a.m. and he was READY!

(haven't gotten a turkey yet, but we're still trying)

Now, to share my big news of the day: we FINALLY made a decision on the hardwood and here it is: this is a picture of the price tag:

and this is a picture of what it looks like when it is put together.

Here is the BEST part (which is what I would consider a "kiss from the King" as in Jesus, the King of Kings) and that is that I waited until John and I could make the decision together, so I took him back to this store the next day, after deciding that this was what I like. When we got there, the wood had gone ON SALE - to

$2.99/SQUARE FOOT! THAT MEANS WE SAVED OVER $600.00!!

How cool is that?

I'm so behind

2010-04-18T22:38:00.000-05:00

I'm so behind and I have finally come to a realization: I can only get caught up on one or two things at a time. If I catch up on my grading, my laundry falls behind. If I catch up on my exercising, my grading falls behind. If I catch up my friend time (which isn't much because I don't have very many), I fall behind on my little boy snuggle time. Right now I feel like I am 1/4 caught up and 3/4 behind in about six areas.

My biggest struggle right now is with work. First of all, let me make it clear that I love my job, love the people for and with whom I work, and love my school. I do not, however, always love junior high kids. I love all of them some of the time and some of them all of the time, but I don't love all of them all of the time. I also don't love the paperwork that comes with my job, but there is no perfect job, and amost every job has at least some paperwork, so I have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. There are a whole passel of people out there right now who would love to have any job, and much more a job like mine, so no complaining here.

Having said that, right now, I am especially behind (even more than normal for me) on my grading and entering of grades. I also am trying to prepare for teaching preschool next year, learning a new curriculum, moving buildings and room locations, and trying to mentally and physically prepare for a different - well, everything. I am extremely excited about the move, anxious to get to know the children, and desperately wanting to do an amazing job.

Also, in the midst of this move-from-junior-high-to-preschool-while-finishing-my-second-Master's-degree thing, we are trying to remodel our house. I know, right? here's the scoop:

Have been discussing what to do with white berber carpet in the living room since we moved in,
finally decided to continue wood from dining room throughout the rest of the downstairs,
went to get it/order and they don't make it anymore,
decided to replace all the wood downstairs and move dining room wood to boys' bedroom (you don't even want to know what that carpet looks like),
searched for exactly what wood, width, and shade we want in the living room/dining room,
have decided on a 5-6" width, dark color walnut, cherry, bamboo, or some sort of solid, not engineered wood.

Thankful for those decisions so far.....almost have dear hubby talked into wood stairs and wood hallway in the upstairs so we would be chipping away at the rooms with carpet (yippee!) So thankful for this incredible abundant life God has blessed me with.

Here's my little prayer for tonight: God, please help me stay focused this week and try to catch up on several areas. Also, help me remember not to take my blessings as burdens. Amen.

Also, one of my friends posted this as her facebook status and I thought it was kind of cool, so I copied it:

"Commitment is what transforms a promise into reality. It is the words, which speak boldly of your intentions. It is making the time when there is not. Commitment is the stuff that character is made of. It is the power to change the face of things. It's the daily triumph of integrity over skepticism."

Thanks, KB! Maybe that will help me restore my commitment to exercise. Like I told my students the other day, the only place I have been running lately is to Wendy's for a coffee toffee twisted frosty. I'm gonna work on that, too.

how cute is this?

2010-04-14T18:11:00.000-05:00

Ok, so I totally stole this pic off my friend's facebook page to tempt someone into adopting him from here. His name is Dodger and he really, really wants a home. Not my home, but maybe yours.

medical update on child #2

2010-04-12T19:59:00.000-05:00

Last Monday we had another MRI on Tretter on the lumbar spine, without and with contrast. He did great before, during, and after the MRI, which is awesome. We are so continuously thankful that the boys have been so cooperative and positive throughout all of our testing processes. They just seem to roll with it, and I am constantly amazed at the resilience of children!

Rewind: In case you are new to the story, Tretter's symptoms are migraine headaches, poor bladder and bowel control (although please don't mention that, if you are around him for obvious reasons), not being able to balance on a bike, and skin hypersensitivity (aka low pain threshhold, only wanting to wear sweatpants because jeans are "hard", no socks with seams, etc.) The lumbar MRI was ordered to check for a suspected tethered cord, which is a spinal problem that sometimes co-exists with Chiari or can occur in relatives of Chiari patients.

The results we recieved could not have been better. His bloodwork from the endocrinologist visit came back normal and his MRI came back normal. This means that even if there is some unifying medical reason for his symptoms, there is not anything serious enough to warrant surgery or even further monitoring at this point. (YAY!)

Tretter will see the actual endo in July when we take Whitaker back. At that time, we will get a growth velocity on him from March to July and if he is not growing at a rate that seems appropriate then the endocrinologist may consider having him put through the stim testing for growth hormone deficiency.

If he does have to go that route, we remain thankful that this is a fixable and temporary problem. So many people have far more difficult and chronic medical challenges. We continue to thank God every day for the health, security, insurance, and family we have around us. God is so good. :-)

2010-04-12T18:05:00.000-05:00

This is one of my favorite pictures of my boys. I took it with my iPhone one day after school when they were messing around and being silly. I just keep loving it.

I need help! (in more ways than one!)

2010-04-12T17:49:00.002-05:00

okay - here is a list of today's issues:

I am trying to eat supper with Tretter, who insists on watching "The Most Extreme" on Animal Planet which today is about mucous-y slugs and other slimy creatures. gross.

I can't go to my reunion - long story, not interesting, but now I need to decide what to do with my hair. I like this girl's post about her possible haircuts

I think I like the middle one the best.

Comments? What do you think? If you can't leave a comment, send me an email because I have been trying to enable comments for a while now, and I think it isn't working. If you can leave a comment, AWESOME!

Also, how do you like the new look? I worked really hard on it - still want to customize it a little more, but these things take time.

peace out!

my so sweet boys

2010-04-12T17:11:00.001-05:00

Monday we had a meeting with the new pediatric endocrinologist in Louisville. Luckily we both took a sick day from school so we could both go and meet her. She was very kind and professional. I am not sure of her ethnicity but she speaks with an accent and her name is virtually unpronouncable. However, she is not at all difficult to understand, which was a relief, because I wanted to make sure I could understand her.

She said that Whitaker has grown, but we don't know how much he grew before he started on the hormones, so we have to wait until we measure him again in four months, to get a new growth velocity on the growth hormones. Because he has gained a little weight, but more than what would correlate with his increase in heighth, keeping the dosage the same is actually like decreasing it a little since dosages are calculated on weight, amount of mililiters/pound. Dr. seems to think this is fine and that it will protect him from an excessive increase in growth factors. The growth factors are chemicals in the blood that determine the rate of growth and if there is too much hormone being administered, these factors could be too high. When we go back in July, they will test his blood for those levels (I think they are called GH1 and GH2).

The other doctor/nurse/medical professional woman in the room during the exam was somewhat interested in his weight gain and wanted some feedback from us as to his choices, portions sizes, and activity levels. We were pretty honest in that he doesn't always make great choices (but who does) and that we had just spent a week at an all-you-can-eat place in Mexico. They both encouraged us to encourage him to remain active and restrict sugar, sodas, juices, etc. as much as possible. Okay, we've heard that before, we've tried that before, and we will keep trying, but I kind of felt like I had gotten slapped on the hand.

Still happy with the new doctor, though, and we keep taking it one day, one shot, at a time.

part I of the car story

2010-04-07T21:13:00.000-05:00

I am going to my reunion, registered for another 5K and only have 22 days to get in shape. I gotta go so I can get my kids to bed and work-out for about 2 hours. I am going to commit 1 and half to 2 hours a day until Thursday, April 22 because that is my makeover day.

It's time to tell the story.....about when I bought my car. It all started on a Sunday afternoon in November.....I was pouting because I had all kinds of school work to do (papers to grade) and graduate school (MS in library media education) homework to do and I wanted to go shopping, but I couldn't because my husband wanted to go deer hunting. (grrrr....)

So I logged onto eBay and started looking for my standard: Mercedes Benz - M-Class - 1999 to 2005 body style - black, white, or green - under 100,000 miles I didn't find what I liked there, so went to unlimited miles and unlimited distance......then that's when it happened.

I found one that was in Houston, TX and had 112,000 miles on it for not very much money and it was to run out in two more days. I bid on it thinking that I could pay that much with little or no problems (other than robbing Peter to pay Paul) and that there was no way I could get it for that price because it was pretty low. My iPhone is set up to send me outbid messages from eBay whenever I get outbid. I kept checking my phone at school all day for the next two days waiting for an "eBay outbid notice" to show up in my texts. The closer the time got to the end of the auction, the faster my heart was beating, seeing as how I had never mentioned to my husband that I made said bid. Finally, in sixth period class on the Monday before Thanksgiving, the time ran out, and I did not get outbid. My iPhone said "eBay notice: you won item ....., Mercedez Benz ML 320."

I was so excited, and so panicked at the same time. Since 2005 I had been searching and hoping and bidding and praying for a Mercedes M-Class. Now I had won one, but it was in TEXAS, and I had not consulted my loving husband. What had I gotten myself into??

I started looking into book prices for my vehicle, trying to find someone that would want a 2006 Pontiac Vibe. Contemplating when and where to tell my darling hubby, the afternoon was filled with household chores and errands.

randomosity taken to new heights (or depths)

2010-04-03T22:55:00.005-05:00

My dog is 65 pounds and he totally thinks he is a lapdog. This is only a problem when I am trying to be on my LAPtop, because despite my healthy size, my lap is not that big.

I can't wait to see my niece and nephew and brother-in-law and sister-in-law for Easter tomorrow!

It is only 52 minutes until midnight Easter Sunday and I get to weigh myself (yay!) because I gave up the scale for Lent. I must share that this is the first time EVER and I do mean EVER in my life that I have stuck with whatever I gave up for Lent. Usually, I give up chocolate and I have already broken it by noon on Ash Wednesday. Not kidding. I think I was around 129 on Fat Tuesday. We'll see what it says tonight....but I might not choose to share just yet.

I seriously want to take up the carpet in our family room and put down wood. or tile, or anything other than this carpet. I looked today at Sam's Club and found some gorgeous Bamboo in a dark cherry color for $2.49/square foot. I think we need 1000 square feet. Yikes.

I still cannot decide whether or not to go to my reunion. I am leaning towards going. I registered for a 5K race in Neptune Beach on the Saturday morning and I asked for a sub for that day for a Personal Business Day. I guess I just need to make a hotel reservation and plane and rent a car. and have liposuction and a face lift and a tummy tuck and teeth bleaching. Since that is not realistic, I am committing to walking 3-4 miles a day, using Crest Night Strips, and find something amazing and spandex to wear. I am scheduled for an oxygen mask on the Thursday before.....need to make an appointment for haircut and highlights and eyebrow waxing. I think I can do it. I think it will be great.

I am annoyed with myself for deleting my entire post from last Wednesday. I had someone write me an email who was offended by some of my comments. In reaction and cooperation, I deleted the whole thing, not just the pieces that upset her. Now I wish I had only deleted the parts that were misunderstood. Does anyone know how I can get that back? I am sure there is a way and I just don't know. I realize that I don't have to delete EVERYTHING if someone doesn't like what I write. I try very hard to choose my words carefully, and I never intend to hurt or upset ANYONE. After all the blog is all about me, right? Just kidding.

Seriously, though, I need to be more secure in my thoughts and feelings and be willing to defend what I write, even if it is misunderstood or mis-perceived. I am going to continue learning how to navigate this blogging thing just like everyone else. We weren't taught the etiquette in school because there was no Internet when I was in school. So, I think we should all give everyone a break, don't get our panties in a wad, and be willing to amend, but not delete, anything that someone feels is inappropriate.

I completely enjoy HGTV. I hope there is HGTV in Heaven, because I am going there someday.

Celebrate our Risen Lord. His love, grace, and sacrifice are incomprehensibly spectacular.

recipe for success

2010-04-02T17:10:00.002-05:00

If your idea of success is making something that has 100 calories per bite!
Seriously, though....last week my mom had this on her counter and she said it was a week old. I kept eating it right out of the Pyrex dish and I LOVED it!! She emailed me the recipe, which is from Paula Deen. I am guessing I can reprint it here as long as I give credit to Paula Deen, so I will make it clear: THIS RECIPE IS PAULA DEEN'S
(and it rocks!)

Recipe courtesy Paula Deen

Prep Time:
15 min
Inactive Prep Time:
45 min
Cook Time:
50 min
Level:
Easy
Serves:
24 servings
Ingredients
Cake:
Vegetable oil cooking spray
1 (18.2- ounce) package yellow cake mix
1 large egg
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted
Filling:
1 (8-ounce) package cream cheese, softened
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 (1 pound) box confectioners' sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted
1 cup toffee bits
Directions
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F. Spray a 13 by 9 by 2-inch baking pan with vegetable oil cooking spray.

In the bowl of an electric mixer at medium speed, combine the cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well. Pat evenly into the bottom of the prepared baking pan and set aside.

In a bowl, mix together the cream cheese, eggs, vanilla extract, confectioners' sugar and butter. Beat on medium speed until smooth. Fold in the toffee bits with a spatula.

Pour the filling over the cake mixture and spread it evenly. Bake until the center is just a little bit gooey, about 40 to 50 minutes. Remove from the oven and allow to cool completely. Cut into pieces and serve.

So, I had to use two teaspoons of veg. oil instead of Pam cooking spray because I forgot to buy Pam at the store. I also used one and 1/3 cups of toffee chips (Heath) because I love toffee and I wanted to be able to calculate out the calories in the dessert, and I thought I might have a brain cramp if I didn't just use the whole thing. I did calculate it up, and it came out like this:

cal/serv # servings total for recipe
heath piece 80 45 1200
large eggs 74 3 222
box yellow cake mix 180 12 2160
butter 80 16 1280
powedered sugar 120 15 1800
cream cheese 100 8 800
vanilla extract 10 2 20
veg. oil 120 2 120
7602

calories per piece - 24 pieces 316.75

Lord, have mercy. I did the math twice to make sure that I added that up right. That is about 4 days worth of food for me, considering I would eat the whole pan, but who would do that?!?! Okay, I totally would.

the best vacation EVER, EVER, EVER

2010-03-29T21:13:00.003-05:00

We had the absolute best time in Cancun. The hotel we stayed in was called the Gran Caribe Real and it is an all-inclusive family-oriented place on the ocean in Cancun, Mexico. It was our first time traveling with other families (6 other families, exactly), our first time in the Caribbean and our first experience with an all-inclusive, all-you-can-eat-and-drink place.

Activities
Without boring both of my readers (haha) with the daily play-by-play, I will just put it out there that the food was outstanding, the fruity drinks rocked, and the activities were so much fun. There was bingo, super-sized jenga, bracelet-making, spin class (O.M.G), aqua aerobics, games in the pool, step aerobics beside the pool, paiea cooking lessons on the beach in the biggest pot I have ever seen, kayaking in a beautiful lagoon, bike-riding down a narrow sidewalk with scary traffic flying by, shopping, bargaining, and being accosted in the black market, karaoke, hammock-swinging, beach-walking, and lots of laughing, talking, and great times with friends.

General notes
Notes to self for next time: take computer with me, as the place has wi-fi, take only 5's and 1's because stuff is so cheap and don't get any pesos because they are happy (thrilled) to take American money, take more clothes (even though it is vacation, it is the Caribbean so people dress up and look nice even in swimsuits), remember that just because we can eat everything we want doesn't mean we have to, stay in Playa del Carmen for a little more family vacay and a little less college spring break (although that definitely added to the celebratory and social feeling of our hotel, which we loved), get a massage in the evening (rather than the morning) and then shower before hitting the sundeck because the oils they put on your skin block any sunblock from working and make you bake like a Gorton's Fish Stick in the Mexican sun.

Food, food, and more food!
Did I mention the food was really, really good? I mean, out of this world, best stuff I've ever put in my mouth delicious? There was a 24-hour snack bar place which was the smallest and least delicious of the places, but it would rival any American hotel continental breakfast and was changed periodically throughout the day. The kids loved it and the constant coffee was awesome. Strong and black - just like I like it. There were also two other buffet restaurants that had so many choices I couldn't possibly list them all. All of the choices were generous portions, freshly-cooked, and perfectly-seasoned. There was a humongous variety so everyone had something he or she liked at each meal: hamburgers, fruits, steaks, chicken, pastas, seafood, chips and salsa, lots of vegetable salads, yogurt, breads, fajitas, tacos, and some good old American staples like mashed potatoes, french fries, and one-pounder hot dogs. Everything was wonderful - there were bars in every room of the place just about, and even the most exotic fruity drinks could be enjoyed with each meal and all throughout the day. There was one restaurant that we could not get into because it was booked, and one that was an outside place that was cold in the evenings and hot during the day, but still had yummy, richly-marinated grilled selections. A poolside sushi bar also had some appetizer types on the menu, but I never got around to eating there. I can not say enough nice things about this hotel.

Drawbacks - and they weren't very many
The only drawbacks I had with our entire trip were that there are often workers around the hotel trying to talk the visitors into spa treatments, expensive excursions, and club membership (aka timeshare) presentations. Due to the nature of the economic situation in Mexico, these services are lucrative and extremely helpful to these individuals. You can't fault them; they've got all these tourists walking around wanting to do stuff and they stand to feed their family if they can talk them into one or two extras. When we went to the Flea Market we were literally harassed by the workers there to buy stuff and come to this store instead of that store and pay the best price and it was annoying and stressful. I still loved it because I was all about the experience and that was part of it. The whole trip was so, so fun - I was just happy to be out of town that I was cool with whatever we did, so long as we were safe. Speaking of which, we never felt uncomfortable in the least bit in our hotel, only a little at the flea market, and a teensy bit at the airport. Also, I had a hard time getting my shower to the right temperature, and one of the other family's shower backed up on the last day....hated that for them, but pretty minor in the grand scheme of things, in which 31 people went to another country together for spring break.

beautiful pictures from a beautiful place

2010-03-29T21:00:00.004-05:00

from the road (written 3/19/2010)

2010-03-29T18:42:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I wore my birthday present to myself, a new Spanx one-piece body suit ($98.00, Spanx.com). It is a super-compacted, mega-spandex-on-steroids bra/tummy minimize/panties/girdle combo that goes from your shoulder to your knees. I have to share a couple of amusing anecdotes about them (it?? Is it singular or plural because it is a combo-garment. I think for the purpose of this blog, we will consider is singular – one body suit ).
First – the crotch is a flap, but when stretched within an inch of its life(as mine was) it makes for a crotch-less piece of apparel. I wore a skirt to school and some kids were on the floor listening to a book, but I did not walk across any of them, only around the perimeter of their circle.
Second – It takes an aerobic exercise to get into said bodysuit and another to get it off to go potty. I Only went twice yesterday at school. Before going during sixth period, I asked my friend (one of my favorite BFFs) if she was okay watching my class and told her about my new, expensive undergarment of which I was so proud, and that it might take me 30 minutes before I could get back. I was sweating at this point because it was so hot in my room, but I had to go and I had to poop for the second time in one day, which is unusual for me. I have decided the Spanx bodysuit acts like a toothpaste tube and squeezes the contents out the nearest opening. Anyway, I take off my security badge, my sweater, shirt, bodysuit, and skirt and am hurrying to do my thing in there when the fire alarm went off. We had just had a fire drill on Tuesday. Fire drills are always on a Tuesday, when it is sunny, during third period. Always. Either someone mischievously pulled it , or the building was really on fire. And I was completely naked, with the uber-compression body suit around my ankles. I decided quickly that I would take my chances in a fiery, smoke-filled building before running out there into the student body in my less-than-completely-covered-body. I was sweating again by the time I got done redressing, and the all-clear was announced just about the time I got out. Sheesh,as if I weren’t already, at this point, I am so ready for spring break.
Third – I still had it on when I went to my friend’s casa to check how many inches we have lost in the last 42 days of doing P90X because we all left today for Nashville to fly to Cancun tomorrow morning. I totally think it was unfair that I had that thing on because I totally would not have lost as many inches as I did – 9 or 10 all total I can’t remember – but never in a million years was that all from P90X, but probably from the corrugated lycra that squeezing out my poop. Oh, well, I’ll take it and I am so excited to be going somewhere for Spring Break!!

“I gotta go where it’s warm” ~Jimmy Buffet

Never Again
Mark my words all you people out there in cyber-land. I will never again leave for vacation on the same day as the end of the nine weeks. I just can’t do it. I had a hotmess in my room today with everything that the kids were trying to turn in and all of the laundry, packing, shopping, getting my hair did, etc. We also just finished a service project in my advisor session and I have to have a substitute on Monday when I get back because Whitaker has an appointment with the new endocrinologist. I am stressed out but I finally got out of the classroom in one piece and on the road to Nashville. I heart my family so much! I can’t wait to be on the beach in about 18 hours!!!! Yay!!
I already lost the new sunglasses I bought just for this trip. Great. We also have to buy a new camera because we can’t find Whitaker’s camera anywhere and we decided to just buy a new one instead of keep looking for it. Hopefully it will turn up soon after we get home.
If you are reading this, please pray for a family that I know that has a little baby at home and just had VERY premature twins who are now in hospitals in two different cities receiving intensive care. I cannot even imagine how difficult that would be. All we can do is pray for them and that the babies grow and develop fully and become shining examples of God’s love and amazing healing power.

I'm not very good at .....

2010-03-14T22:29:00.005-05:00

.....many things, but one of them is running/walking on the treadmill. Walking and eventual running have always been my favorite form of exercise (or anything I do with other people) but I have not seen great results since we got the treadmill. Of course, you do have to actually get ON the treadmill in order for it to work. I did start getting on it about seven months after we bought it. Now, my problem is staying on it.

First of all, I am still distracted by home-type things, such as the washing machine finishing and the television shows that are on. Second of all, I get a little hung up on the numbers of laps I am walking (???) and calories I am supposedly burning. My thoughts go to such places as the following: How do they know how many calories I am burning because that is different for each individual? How can it say I have walked two laps when I haven't gone anywhere? Why does the incline make such a difference and if I walk with a higher incline will my quad muscles actually get bigger instead of smaller? AAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!! In other words, it's like a mental breakdown, Amy style.

Thirdly, and most importantly, however, I am currently struggling with the treadmill because I am lazy. L. A. Z. Y. lazy. Previously in my life when walking, I would walk up to three miles away from home, be ready to quit, but have to get my fat ass back home somehow. This is the most successful running plan for people as lazy as me. That is why I need to be like my sister (who is not lazy and has more work ethic than anyone I know except my workaholic husband). My sister, whom I admire for lots of other good qualities as well, walks outdoors, year round, in VERMONT! I, in southern Indiana, or anywhere I have lived for that matter, have what I call a three-degree comfort zone. It is somewhere between 74 and 77 degrees with a slight breeze. If it is hotter than that, I am complaining, sweating, and light-headed. If it is colder than that, I am FREEEEEEZING, shivering, and loudly griping to anyone who will listen about how uncomfortable the weather is, how I miss Florida, and how my natural insulation (fat) should keep me warmer, but it doesn't. (It's really not quite that bad, but almost.)

Another bonus about walking outside is that I generally spend most of the time praying, listening to worship music, recognizing my blessings and not my challenges, and thinking about things I need to change in my heart. It seems much more focused, mature, and beneficial mentally and spiritually, as well as physically.

Thank God for the girls I have been doing P90X with for the last 7 weeks, because if I had to do it all on the treadmill, I would have gotten nowhere. Of course, I don't know how much I have lost because I am not weighing, but I do feel better about myself than I did when I started working out in January.

Loving the Tony Horton concept of not saying, "I can't" but phrasing it, "I am currently struggling with....." It seems so much more positive and hopeful, even when the fact may be that I truly can't, like basically ANY of the push-up and/or pull-up varieties in the P90X videos. All of us have come such a long way with our strength and our stamina....I am amazed at how exercising makes you feel about yourself, not just how your body feels. I plan to stick with some form of exercising after we return from Cancun.

Hopefully not the treadmill. love and hugs

It's not all about me.....wait, maybe it is

2010-03-12T22:08:00.000-06:00

Ok, just kidding. It's all about my family.

Today I had an appointment in Louisville with Tretter at the endocrinologist. It rained all the way up there and was uber foggy, but we made it with time to spare. The place was so full we both sat on the floor in the waiting room, but I didn't mind at all. There are so many kids there with more significant problems; I am thankful we could sit on the floor, that Tretter is such a trooper, and that we don't have to go there any more often than we do.

I had a long discussion about both boys with our Nurse Practioner. She is great - more like a mom from mom's group than a doctor, which makes it so easy to talk through things with her. We discussed Whitaker and how he is scheduled to see the new Pediatric Endo in their office. (March 29) She explained to me that it is a woman and she came from Cincinnati Children's, which is supposed to be outstanding. Should we need another opinion about Chiari repair surgery, she would be well-qualified to recommend someone at Cincinnati. He is scheduled for another set of comprehensive back, neck, and head MRIs on May 8 and an appointment 3 days later with the neurosurgeon.

She looked at the X-ray of Tretter's left hand that I had taken with me from Wednesday. By looking at the amount of space left in the growth plates, doctors can tell the bone age of a child, which is not necessarily the same as their chronilogical age. We have been doing this since the boys were one and two, when they first fell of the growth chart at their well-baby visits and were referred to a pediatric endo in the first place. At that time, eight years ago, both boys were diagnosed as being "constitutionally delayed." Today, Tretter's bone age was 7 in the radius/ulna and 8 to 8 and a half in the phalanges. (I am so proud of myself for learning all the medical lingo). She said we will measure him and weigh him again in 4-5 months, whenever we have to bring Whitaker back, so we can calculate Tretter's growth velocity (the rate at which he is growing) at that time. Reassuringly, she said that we have time before the growth plates fuse, should he need growth hormone treatments.

She ordered a lot of bloodwork, which was done in their office today. After discussing Tretter's migraines and urinary issues, she wondered if we needed to do some more MRIs to determine if there is something like a tethered cord or other spinal/cranial issue going on. They will call us and tell us when he will have that and it will take place at Kosair. She is going to call me with results of blood tests and the results of the lumbar MRI and we will go from there. She also gave me the name of the neurologist they use if Tretter does need to see someone about his migraines and they are not tied to another subsequent diagnosis.

Then we went out to eat at an awesome Mexican place across from Trinity High School followed by a solo trip to the mall, which was beautiful, like an out-of-body experience. Okay, maybe not that good, but it was pretty productive. I got the following items: shorts, jeans, and two pairs of kacki pants for John in a smaller size (because he has lost almost 30 lbs.), some rocking Ray-Ban polarized sunglasses to protect his eyes, and a pair of red flip flops for him to wear on our trip; two more two-part bathing suits for the boys for the trip to Cancun (in 7 days); two bras, three pairs of panties, two miniskirts, two t-shirts, two rash guard bathing suit tops, and a package of different-colored Under Armour hairbands - all for ME, myself and Irene. pictures to follow. eventually, when I fix the blog and figure out how to upload pics.

Still have not weighed since before Ash Wednesday. might start to twitch if I think about it too much. Better stop thinking about it. Hope it is going in the right direction. :-0 (that is me freaking out a little bit)

Fill in the Blank Friday: So much fun

2010-03-05T12:29:00.000-06:00

Thanks to my cyber-friends at http://thelittlethingswedo.blogspot.com/ for the Fill in the Blank Fridays; here are last week's and this week's answers, since I am little behind.

By the way, I am behind on my blogging because I have been obsessively reading these two blogs:

www.skinnyrunner.com and http://fatboyfitnessblog.com/

Okay Fill in the Blanks:
1.One thing I MUST do before I die is live in Manhattan, but I will have to be an old woman because my husband will never move there, and I am not looking to lose him any time soon.
2. I would rather be well-liked than accomplished; would rather feel like I fit in than feel like I am successful.
3. If I could give my younger self one piece of advice it would be you are good enough, you are smart enough, and doggone-it, people like you!
4. If I won the lottery tomorrow, I'd do so many cool things, starting with splitting it 50/50 with hubby right off the bat, so we would never fight over what to spend it on. Then I would donate to a lot of charities that I like and maybe even create one myself. Then I would quit my job and get a Ph.D. just because I could finally afford it.
5. The best surprise ever was a trip to Europe for my 3rd real birthday when I turned 12 years old.
6. My biggest fault is eating too much and biting my cuticles. Seriously, I have to stop. Both of them.
7. My biggest strength is being resilient and bouncing back, over and over and over. God never gives up on me, so I can't either.

1. When I'm nervous I laugh even when it is inappropriate. It's awful and I am working on it.
2. My favorite item in my closet is an orange pair of Victoria's Secret sweatpants that say "PINK" across the butt and "GATORS" down the leg. They aren't very flattering, but they are oh, so comfy!
3. Watching trashy reality TV is only fun if it gives off a positive vibe, like Project Runway and Ace of Cakes. Then I can't get enough. I say, "No, thank you," to crap like the Kardashians, Houswives, and anyone who finds it entertaining to curse repeatedly and argue.
4. My favorite childhood memory is decorating the Christmas tree with Christmas music playing.
5. Something you may not know about me is I love to write (on my computer, of course!).
6. A true friend does not judge you, but understands you, doesn't have to agree with you, but will never talk bad about you.
7. Something I hope people think of when they think of me is that I may not be very nice before I have coffee, but I am at least tolerable after I have coffee.

Birthday? What birthday?

2010-02-28T23:26:00.000-06:00

Seriously, how weird do you have to be to have a Leap Year Day birthday? I mean, I figured out I was really odd around age 4 or 5, but now at age 38 (as of today, or tomorrow, depending on how you calculate it), I think I am exhibiting the essence of strange and unusual.

People always ask me, "What is it like to be born on a Leap Year?" Well, first of all, it is correctly called Leap Year Day. Everyone born in a year with a Leap Year Day is, technically speaking, a Leap Year Baby. Only those of us blessed to be born on the 29th day of February are actually Leap Year Day babies, named such because we were born on that day (duh) - and because the lack of annual birthdays means we will be forever young.

Well the answer to this question is - that when when I was younger, my parents always (and still do) make February 28th my birthday. I never felt left out, less special, or anything. On the years when I had a "real birthday" as we call it, my parents and family did something extra-special. There may have been a time from approximately ages 6-13 when I would become annoyed upon getting a new calendar and was unable to mark my actual brithday. I got over that and, like everyone else, my birthdays quickly lost appeal and gave way to the normal daily grind after passing such milestones as 16 (my 4th birthday) and 21 (which was not a big deal to me, because I don't really do that birthday-specific activity very much anyway).

Now, as I inch closer to the big 1-0, which will mark 40 years for me, I feel like we Leap Year Day people are unique in that as adults, we still have a special day that, because of its rarity, does not ever get lost in the redundancy of everyday life. I always have another birthday to which I can look forward. Even though the next time I have a real birthday I will be 40, I am really excited about it coming again in two years. It is sort of like the age thing takes a backseat to the Leap Year thing and I don't care that I am going to be 40.

The most important reason why aging does not bother me at all is because I am a mommy now, and the day I became a mommy is the most special day in my life. I think most mothers would say that their children's birthdays are more celebratory occasions than even the biggest milestone birthdays of their own. The only time I have ever been sad about, on, or before a birthday is the night before my oldest child turned 3 years old. He was praying with me and singing songs and saying his ABC's before he went to bed. I was overwhelmed with how fast the three years had passed since he was still in utero. I could not fathom the miracle that God performs everytime a child is concieved, carried, and born. On top of that, how precious and bright and intelligent he was just made me feel like the most blessed mother in the world. I cried out of exhaustion, because this precious 2-turning-3 year-old had a 1-turning-2 year-old brother, and out of gratitude for my adorable boys.

This morning, that now 10-year-old child made me waffles, leftover fried cheese cubes, leftover fried gizzards, and some sliced brie for breakfast. He can only operate the toaster and the microwave, so I got foods that reflected his current culinary abilities. Surely, much like the first three years show logrithmic development rates, the next 10 years will show equally impressive improvements in his cooking skills. My appreciation is immeasurable.

So, when my friends are celebrating their oldest child's birthday, I tell them, "Happy day-you-became-a-mommy Day," because we know that this is the day when we mothers truly celebrate in our hearts.

Oh, and when I turn 40, I am so having a 10th birthday party, complete with bowling, junk food, presents, maybe even a sleepover.

Another tat, Ripa, for real?

2010-02-28T23:18:00.000-06:00

Okay, everyone knows I am obsessed with KR and want to look just like her. The one and only tattoo that I have I got when I was 22 and I was trying to be just like her, who has a tat on her inside left ankle. Hers is a rose and a snake (I think) and mine is a dove with an olive branch in its mouth. I was completely sober, was told several times that it would be permanent, and still regretted getting it about 5 minutes after it was done. I have often wanted to get it taken off, but did not want the expense or the pain that it entails....I'm kind of waiting for some technological advance in lasers or creams or something that will be an inexpensive and fast removal process.

Anyway, this weekend, I read where Kelly got a new tattoo on her inside left wrist. I will not be getting a matching one. I still love her and want her figure, but I draw the line at drawing on myself (anymore).

P90X is kicking my X

2010-02-15T10:53:00.000-06:00

Okay - not focusing on the weight, just focusing on getting more toned. Sure, that sounds good- I'll keep telling myself that until I believe it. I am giving up the scale for Lent I decided. I still am in the biggest loser contest at school, although I totally need to be voted off the island. I can weigh with my back to the scale and have someone else record it and then I can look when Easter is over. I think I might do better if we had a PARTNER rather than a group/team. John has a partner and it is his boss, so he is extra dedicated. I can't even remember who is on my team!

I am loving the Olympics - I thought the opening ceremonies in Vancouver were amazing and moving. K.D. Lange was the best I had ever seen her and that performance was moving and beautiful. Also loved the dancers and the projectors - it was so artistic and creative! Hated that their fire thing messed up a little at the end, but it didn't take anything away from it for me. I still thought it was incredibly beautiful. Absolutely LOVED the United States' outfits. The hats, coats, sweaters, pants - everything about them!!! I want one of those hats so bad - I am going to look for one today online (since we don't have school). I think Lindsey Vonn is one of the most beautiful girls I have ever seen. If this whole Olympic skiiing thing doesn't work out, I feel certain she could make it as a supermodel. She is gorgeous. End of story.

I knitted the cutest purse yesterday - I used recycled silk yarn from saris in India and made a bucket bag. I haven't put the handles on it yet, but I can't wait to use it! I absolutley adore the silk yarn - can't get enough of it!

Currently arguing with my 9-year-old about reading Harry Potter - he says he reads everyday, yet he is way behind on his points.....go figure. He is giving me the evil eye right now and pouting but he looks adorable because he has on a red sock cap and red shorts and, in typical Tretter style, he has a navy Under Armour shirt with a black t-shirt over it from the Outer Banks. gotta love it!

I don't know what time we are doing our exercising today, but I know that I seriously might not make it...yesterday I was horizontal on the floor when we got finished and I could barely get back up.

Sunday night and I am annoyed

2010-02-14T21:29:00.000-06:00

I am always annoyed on Sunday night because school looms over me for Monday morning. Tonight I am especially annoyed for the following reasons:

I have been doing P-90X for 5 days and I now weigh the same as I did when I started.
My youngest child is stressed about his AR points, and I think AR is silly and can be counter-productive in getting kids to read
My husband needs me to painstakingly help him go through a tape of a pitiful game from his even more pitiful season - TONIGHT (and it is 9:40 already)
I have a huge stack of papers to grade and no motivation to grade them
I am tired of the snow and cold and there is supposed to be more coming for tonight
John keeps losing weight and he is annoying me with his dedication and water-drinking and his condescending attitude about my diet sodas

I am trying to be positive, so let's look at this in the glass-is-half-full sort of way:

I have finally started exercising again and making better choices (yay! because this is long overdue)
We still have plenty of time for me to help Tretter read the gargantuan book he has chosen in time for the deadline
I actually like helping John with basketball things when he needs it because it makes me feel supportive and needed
I have to get through the stack of papers this week because mid-terms go out Friday so everything must be graded and recorded before then. Deadline=forced motivation
Any significant snowfall tonight might result in a snow day or a delay tomorrow. :-) (which of course I will use to exercise, eat healthy, do laundry and tackle that huge stack of papers!)
John's success is motivating me to increase my water intake (a fact that my aesthitician will rejoice over) and contemplate giving up diet sodas for Lent (or for good) (gasp!) (insert silent sobs here)

Two more positive results of this weekend: we are going to Cancun in 34 days and I have decided to suck it up and go to my reunion on April 24 in Jacksonville, Florida. I am working so hard to get in shape for Cancun so I might as well go.

Tomorrow's list includes: taking a class for CPR certification, delivering 3 wedding gifts to people who have gotten married within the last year, washing the basketball uniforms for a 5 pm game, and drinking lots of water. :-) Wow, this blogging thing is great.

Three of my favorite things: hugs, cupcakes, electric blankets

Snow days, go days

2010-02-10T16:47:00.000-06:00

Okay, so most people think that Snow Days are AWESOME! myself included. Tomorrow will be our third snow day in a row. Today, my wonderful husband and two precious children all went to school, but I did not. This resulted in some much-needed down time for momma!

Yesterday we scheduled a trip to Cancun, Mexico for spring break. This kind of thing is totally out of character for us boring folks who rarely go anywhere unless the destination has significant educational potential. We also are relatively frugal, although I am sure my conservative in-laws (whom I love very much) would argue that point. :-) Therefore, the last two days have been spent running around making arrangements for expedited passports and beginning an understandably-mandatory-if-you-saw-me-in-a-bathing-suit workout program. Luckily, two of the other moms going on the trip wanted to work-out too. Consequently, last night three moms and one young 'un got together at the local high school and did the first day of P90-X.

I hope I make it through tonight's effort staying upright the whole 50 minutes. If you have never done this workout, it totally kicks your butt. Of course, I don't have ninety days, but I do have 42 days, I think. I figure I am going to look better in 42 days if I do P90-X everyday between now and then than if I do nothing. Of course, eating ice cream with my lunch and a whole bag of barbecue potato chips for snack this afternoon is not going to help me move in the right direction. Yesterday I weighed 128 and today I weighed 126, which is the first time all year I have gone down instead of up after a snow day. A small victory is still a victory! Tomorrow I am going to walk on the treadmill while everyone else is at school and still do P90-X tomorrow night. That is, provided I can get out of bed tomorrow.

Gran Caribe Real Resort and Spa Cancún, Gran Caribe Real Cancun All Inclusive Hotel

2010-02-09T17:31:00.000-06:00

Gran Caribe Real Resort and Spa Cancún, Gran Caribe Real Cancun All Inclusive Hotel

hola, senoritas

2010-01-23T23:41:00.000-06:00

Last night the teaching nurse came to show us how to use the pen that injects the shots for Whitaker's growth hormone treatments. She was very kind and helpful and we learned pretty quickly. Despite being relatively intelligent individuals, John and I are not educated in anything medical, so it was new territory for us. After two hours, we understood every aspect and had administered the first shot.

Whitaker did great, especially after we told him that he didn't really have to get his first shot right up his pee hole as John had told him on the way home from school. Somehow, John and I don't exactly see eye to eye on the potential for psychological damage when he makes jokes such as these.

The nurse told us that we would see an improvement in his stamina even before we see any physical growth because everything on the inside has been deprived of what it needs to grow as well. We were very happy to hear this, because we had noticed his stamina decreasing over the last 12-24 months. Also, the point of the growth hormone is not only to make him taller, but to make him feel better physically and emotionally. We are really hopeful that it will be beneficial to him.

John's team still hasn't won a game. Hoping that changes soon, as he started the season sitting on 99 wins. Really would like for him to get his 100th win this year. Anything is possible with God, and divine intervention just may be necessary in this case.

I am nervous about letting the boys play indoor soccer tomorrow. Last week we skipped it, but this week I think I am going to let them if Whitaker promises a)not to hit the ball with his head and b)take a rest if the back of his head starts to hurt.

Snow might be coming.....can't beat a late January snow day! I love snow days - they are like a gift. Even if we have to make them up, I still have the greatest job in the world because it calls for work 182 days a year. Snow days for me include snuggling with the boys under warm covers, coffee in my sweats, and Regis and Kelly - it just doesn't get any better than that.

I heart HGTV, cupcakes, and friends.

today's craziness

2010-01-22T07:22:00.000-06:00

I am so tired today, but so thankful it is Friday. I just got a call from the teaching nurse for the subcutaneous shots that we can have training tonight at our house at 7:00. This is GREAT since we have no basketball game tonight, so today will be his first GH treatment. We are praying that this will help him many ways. Everything worked out just perfectly. (I knew there was a reason for me to be 15 minutes late getting up today!)

I am wearing a bathing suit under my jeans because I have no clean underwear. Yesterday I wore a panty-girdle. Guess laundry is on my list for this weekend.

Recently had the "how-to-wash-your-face-with-acne-cleanser" session with the boys. Last night's ride to the away ballgame proved that we need to have a "how-and-when-to-use-deoderant-with-discretion" conversation. Holy Lord. I almost gagged.

I think it is probably a sin to love a vehicle as much as I love my new car. It is 10 years old and has a ton of miles, but it is my dream car and I get a little happier every time I get in it. Despite what my husband says, it's not the Mercedes emblem on the front that makes me like it; the body style, heated leather seats, and 4-wheel drive all contribute largely as well.

Not like it matters, but I weigh 124 today. I have lost 5 lbs since last Tuesday, but I am in the Biggest Loser contest at my school and last semester I totally let my team down by going up the whole time. This semester I am going to do better. John, of course, has lost 10 lbs. since last Monday - 6 last week and 4 this week. On what planet does that make any sense? I just want to look like Kelly Ripa. Is that too much to ask?! Ha ha.

Seriously, I just want my kids to feel well and be healthy. I'll take looking like me if we can get there.

Hey, everybody!!!

2010-01-20T18:24:00.000-06:00

Great visit today with the pediatric neurosurgeon in Louisville. He was very informative, gentle, and thorough with Whitaker. After we introduced ourselves to him, he went straight to Whitaker and asked him the questions and not us and checked him out all over. He looked in his eyes, ears, and mouth, and he discussed his headaches with him. He also checked his reflexes and balance. Then he took all of us to the room where he had some of Whitaker's images up on a screen.

He explained to us where the Chiari was, exactly what it looked like, and showed us where there was less than adequate spinal fluid flowing. He explained about this pressure and exactly when this would cause pain (at the point of exertion, or when laying down) which was completely consistent with Whitaker's reports of headaches when running, coughing, and when he wakes up in the mornings.

The measurement of Whitaker's "tonsil," which is part of the cerebellum, but should not be confused with the tonsils in the throat, is a little over 2 cm beyond where it is supposed to be. He explained to us that when you are growing, your brain grows under one set of messages and your skull expands with it because of the room left in soft spot. However, the back of the skull, for some reason, takes its instructions to grow from another location in the brain (the pituitary gland). If a child is growth hormone deficient, the brain keeps growing, but the bones in the back of the head do not. Since the cerebellum has no where to go, it smashes down into the upper spine.

At this point, surprised, I asked if the growth hormone deficiency and the Chiari Malformation are related. He said they are ENTIRELY related. This was interesting news to us because we thought they were just separate problems. He went on to explain that Whitaker's Chiari is large, and that in any other circumstance, we would be going straight to surgery. However, over the last 20 years they have seen a number of children with GHD and Chiari have improvement of the spacial orientation in the back of the skull simply from adding growth hormones and the consequent result of them.

Therefore, he said he would like to start Whitaker on growth hormone treatments right away and have us come back for another MRI in 3-4 months to check for improvement. At that time that we would also do a spinal MRI to see if there are any syrinxes and if there are, then we will have to do surgery at that time. Syrinxes are pools of spinal fluid in the back and spinal canal and if left there, can lead to permanent nerve damage. Even with growth hormone treatments, Whitaker's situation may not improve enough to bypass surgery, but in a few months it will be evident whether or not the increase in size will improve his Chiari.

Let me say, we were in the office for 3 hours. We got there at 11, which was a bonus because I had forgotten our insurance card, but I knew I could run downstairs three floors to the endocrinologist's office and they would copy it for me. This worked and we got checked in and waited. It was about 1:00 when they put us back in a room and we left there at 2:10. The doctor was very young, which we had expected, but he was also extremely, extremely intelligent. I don't know how to describe how brilliant this guy must be. We asked him about the genetic link and he said that doctors understand that there is one, but they do not understand yet why or what the link is. Other than infectious diseases, almost everything about us has a genetic link, according to him. Some are stronger than others.

He mentioned that he spent time in Cincinnati Children's Hospital and they actually have a Chiari unit, or a study, or something dedicated to Chiari there. He said that he did A LOT of Chiari surgeries there and that they had 35 families with multiple siblings with Chiari. We asked a little bit about the surgery, understanding that it is still a very real possibility, and he said that it is safe and he does them now at least once a week. Then I asked him why it is so rare, to which he kindly answered, "If you're a neurosurgeon, it's not rare."

The fact that it is so routine for them actually makes me feel better. I am so happy we have some time to see if the growth hormones work. We asked about contact sports and the risk for rupturing. He said there is a risk for rupturing, but he was not of the opinion to restrict activities now. After surgery would be a whole different story. The doctor also agreed to look at the MRI of Tretter that we sent to him, and explained that all future MRIs should be done at Kosair because they know the exact angles and images he wants. Completely understandable. We will be happy to comply. :-)

Obviously, Whitaker was thrilled with this news and so are we. I will post updates on how the growth hormone works, and if I forgot anything, I'll add it later. We are so thankful that at least the timing is such that if we have to do something, it can be in the summer. Keep the prayers coming - it is all going to work out.

Elvis is in the building

2010-01-20T07:12:00.001-06:00

Normal evening routine at our house includes at least 5-10 minutes of a freshly-showered Whitaker dramatically combing his hair and then proceeding to impersonate Elvis, into the comb. This is usually complete with hip motions, despite the fact that he is STARK NAKED. He now thinks it amusing to go cross-eyed and fall over on the floor, mid-impersonation. Great fun for mom.

Just spoke with the neurosurgeon's office and they had a cancellation for 11:30 Eastern10:30 Cenral today so we are going to take him up there. We have all his paperwork filled out and they have all of his MRI scans, so we should be good to go. I had done sub plans for today anyway because I was supposed to go to a workshop, but my school administrator gracioulsy said I could go to a similar workshop next week instead. :-)

I will post later after we learn anything. Keep the prayers coming! Everything will be fine. God is so good.

More clear MRI scans

2010-01-19T10:14:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we got the news that my MRI also was clear of any Chiari Malformation. We have forwarded both mine and Tretter's images to a neurosurgeon in Louisville just to have another opinion and have a specialist concur. Should there be no Chiari connection in the family, then we are both relieved and left with the question as to where Whitaker got this, but that fact is really irrelevant now.

I did call the pediatric neurosureon's office in Louisville today to see if he could possibly fit us in sooner. Whitaker is doing okay, but he is a little anxious and, understandably, would like to get it over with as soon as possible. I explained to the scheduling nurse that his consult was on his birthday and she said she could change it to later. I told her no, we want the first available appointment and she said she would check the computer and try to see if he had a cancellation for today or tomorrow. Someone is supposed to call me back on my cell phone if they can, but their computers were not working properly (of course). I really pray that they can fit us in sooner because I don't want him to have to worry with all the questions we have for two more weeks.

Apparently, they only see patients on Tuesdays and Wednesdays and next week they are all going to be gone. Doctors often schedule conferences in tropical or semi-tropical climates during the last, depressing weeks of January. Can't say that I blame them. It might even encourage a certain little guy with an oversized brain to become a surgeon. :-)

Thanks everyone for all your prayers and concern. We really appreciate everything!!

I'll keep posting if anything seems important. Right now, I personally cannot imagine letting either one of the boys get back in a football uniform. I hope that decision is not left up to us as parents. Please pray that whatever sureon we end up going with will strongly discourage or not allow it. I know basketball can be rough, and baseball is risky in its own way, but, come on. Do we need to be puttting little guys in big helmets and smashing them into each other? I love to watch football, (go Gators!) don't get me wrong. I'm not hatin', I'm just sayin'.

Golf - I'm voting golf. Think I feel a golf trip in our future!

Good News!

2010-01-18T16:17:00.000-06:00

Thank God that Tretter's MRI report per Dr. M. this afternoon shows no Chiari Malformation. We are so, so thankful. Dr. M. also made us feel a lot better about the severity of the surgery. e confirmed that Whitaker needs "fixed" but likened the risk to any other general anesthesia surgery. He also reiterated what we thought we had read in that once a Chiari is fixed it is fixed for good, with no chance of relapse. This is sort of best-case-scenario brain surgery, if we can go there. I can totally go there.

We had a couple of questions that he said he needed to defer to the pediatric neurosurgeon and he agreed to have Tretter's images sent up to Dr. "Wilson" in Louisville just for another professional opinion. His opinion was that Whitaker just got the short end of the stick. We asked him about time off school and he said 10-year-olds bounce back pretty quickly. Nothing else too specific, but still a very positive appointment!

Even though Tretter's symptoms still exist, we would much rather live with symptoms and no diagnosis than face another Chiari surgery!!

Thank God that our prayers have been answered and that we are on the road to more clarity about everything. Thanks also to everyone for their support!!

I will keep updating as soon as anything comes up. Lite Ranch dressing tastes like crap.

lyons out

randomness

2010-01-18T03:33:00.000-06:00

It's 3:34 a.m. I am exhausted but I cannot sleep. Ever had that feeling? Yeah, it pretty much sucks. Not a lot of great literary writing going on when it's the middle of the night. I want to write down a few more things that I don't want to forget, and since everyone uses electronic means to write down anything, I am doing it here. That is basically how it is with me, though.....you get the whole package. The good, the bad, the funny, the crazy, the irritable. Take what you want and leave what you don't. Life is too short for me to worry about it anymore.

The other day I had to speak with a pre-certification lady at the hospital in order to get the MRI's approved by the insurance. I personally felt like she was doubting and questioning everything I said about me and about Tretter. I am sure that she was looking at it from an insurance company's perspective, but I think a Chiari diagnosis in the family should automatically qualify the rest of the family members to be checked. I know the test is expensive, but ..... I don't even want to get started on the whole insurance/health care thing.

The other morning, after we found out what we found out about wrestling, the boys were playing rough and wrestling a little on the floor. I had to tell them to stop and I cushioned the news about the risk of Chiari patients having ruptures and worse if they wrestle. Whitaker immediately said, "SOOOO, you're telling me my head's going to explode!!" I told him (which I have told him 1000 times before) that God only gives us one head and we must take care of it. He answered with, "Yeah, but He made it wrong." I told Whitaker that this is part of life and that we can't blame anyone, especially God. Then I reassured them that God is with us all and will take care of all of us through this. I tried to explain that good is going to come from this; we don't know what yet, but we know that this is part of a special plan and it will make them stronger. They didn't buy that too wholeheartedly, but it was shower time anyway and one of them loves showers and the other doesn't, so if we get everyone successfully clean everyday, that is a little mommy victory.

I know it sounds crazy, (what else would you expect from me by now?) but I really am so, so thankful that we are close to getting some answers and realizing that some of these things are not our fault. Of course, there are still plenty of things that are, but not everything.
I also cannot stop thinking that this is going to be completely fixable....from what I understand now, this is risky because it is the brain, (and it is my child) but having the repair surgery takes care of it. Given the things that could be wrong with children, this is a huge, huge blessing. The surgery is not even something they will do at St. Jude's because it is so not life-threatening. That is a blessing.

My dog, Tebow, has been driving me crazy today. He won't get more than three feet away from my body -all day!! He kept sitting on me and next to me and under me. When I went to bed he came and lied on the floor next to me (people lie, things lay right?) but apparently that wasn't close enough because then he got on top of me. Now he is downstairs next to me on the couch, touching his butt to mine. How sweet.

I want to not go to school for the whole day today. John kind of disapproved of that idea when I said I could take the whole day as a sick day to go to the doctor. He gave an edict that we will each only take half a day off. That is what I will do I guess. Don't want to upset him during his 0-for-whatever it is season. I told him he would find God before this season was over. I was right.

honestly, I am boring myself

2010-01-17T22:35:00.000-06:00

Okay, I am going to speed it up a little because I am ready to be done for tonight, but I know that tomorrow will prompt more need share so I am trying to catch up.

Saturday: Boys had a basketball game in the morning and they both played great. Whitaker fell down about ten times and Tretter almost cried everytime he did anything wrong, but overall they did fine. I, on the other hand, was a complete wreck the whole time and I was really scared the entire game. Whitaker had a friend spend the night and Tretter spent the night with a friend.

Sunday: They were both a little grouchy but we went to church and John's parents came down to take Whitaker to the Free Throw Contest at the high school so we could go meet with Dr. M. He was going to read us the report on Tretter's MRI and interpret the report from Kosair on Whitaker's MRI. Whitaker was too young to be in the contest and Dr. M. was soooo busy and the results weren't back yet. We made an appointment for tomorrow.....at 2:00 p.m. Bummer because I am so tired of waiting.

We don't know anything else. I was so nervous in church about meeting with the doc that I had to leave twice to use the restroom. I think I am over that though, too tired to be nervous and too faith-filled to worry. We think we know the diagnosis.

We still do not know to what extent this is a genetic disease. Another blessing that John actually pointed out to me is that my brother's children and my sister's child (the three absolute cutest kids on the planet) are all adopted. Maybe there is reason in everything.

lyons out

more catching up

2010-01-17T22:07:00.001-06:00

Thursday and Friday were filled with more sharing with friends, more searching for a reputable (i.e. the best on the planet) pediatric neurosurgeon, and more God stories. We learned that kids with Chiari are not supposed to do contact sports, particularly WRESTLING. Both of our boys have been wrestlers for the past three years. The head of pediatric neurosurgery at Kosair is well-respected in the field and is named Dr. Moriarty and I learned through a friend/coworker that he said that wrestling can cause ruptures and hemorrhaging.

Learning this caused the room to spin again because our boys did not want to wrestle this year despite some success in the past. Many people strongly encouraged them to wrestle and they said emphatically that they were done. I was never a huge fan of the sport of wrestling, but I was a huge fan of all the people in wrestling. I miss them because that was such a huge part of our lives. They remain good friends and have already shown us huge amounts of love and support. I am still marveling at the grace of God that turned the boys off to wrestling before a tragedy occured on the mat. I should know by now not to be surprised, but prepare to be amazed.

Friday night we had Tretter's MRI at Perry County Memorial Hospital here in Tell City. He was such a good little guy and was so still and calm. Afterward we got a blizzard and I took him to Walmart where he picked out a book. John had taken Whitaker to the Harlem Globetrotter's in Evansville, so I figured Tretter needed a little present.

not exactly the best news

2010-01-17T20:52:00.000-06:00

Whitaker's MRI was scheduled for Tuesday, Jan. 12. However, it snowed so we didn't have school on Thursday and Friday before, so we asked Kosair to change his appointment to Friday so none of us had to miss school. Friday night we drove to Louisville and had the MRI and drove home. In the meantime I scheduled delivery of the hormones and had an educational phone conversation with the hormone company in California, and spoke with the nurse who was to do our training, as Whitaker will recieve one shot daily subcutaneously, and John and I are about the least medically trained people ever.

On Tuesday, I spoke with Dr. S. and she said that we could not move forward with the growth hormone until Whitaker sees a neurosurgeon because he has Chiari I Syndrome as detected in the MRI. The hypothalamus and pituitary are, thankfully, fine. I was writing everything down, but I was spelling it Kiari. She asked if he were having any headaches or anything, and I explained that he only has them when he coughs or runs a lot. Dr. S. said she would get him the first available appointment as he MUST see a pediatric neurosurgeon.

She told me I might want to look it up and told me how to spell it. When I spelled it correctly, I realized that it is the same diagnosis that two brothers in my school have and both of them had surgery on their brains. I told her that my other son has headaches, too, and she said that we would need to have him checked, too, because it often runs in siblings. I started to feel lightheaded and I was alone so I scared myself back to reality. I was trying to piece this together but I had about 15 minutes before I had to go teach my first class at Ivy Tech Community College. I was so excited about teaching the class and I want desperately to do a good job. I knew I had to a) walk out the door and not look anything up and b) get my emotions under control so as to maintain the upmost of professionalism.

I drove to school and texted a couple of people and told them the diagnosis and referral to a surgeon. One of them was my sister, the other a friend. I went and printed off my syllabus and managed to make it through the three-hour class, taking only one break to go to the restroom and check my phone for texts. John had a game that night so the boys had ridden the bus with him and were still not even home when I got home from teaching my class. I immediately started looking up Chiari and trying to learn as much as I could. I could see tell after about 10 minutes, that Whitaker was going to need surgery, and that Tretter probably has it.

When John got home, he asked me if I had gotten the results of the MRI from Dr. S. and I whispered to him that we have to talk after the boys went to bed. We put the boys to bed and I proceeded to tell him what I had learned. The next day I emailed my parents and told some friends at school, as I always have had a propensity for over-sharing. During my prep, I spoke with my good friend/school social worker, and she agreed to let me have a conversation in her office with the 7th grader that I have who had the surgery (we will refer to him as S. Wilson - totally not his real name). I wanted to be appropriate, but knowing the sensitivity of the issue, I didn't just want to start grilling him in class or the hallway. I got him out of art class, told him it was about me and that he was not in any trouble. The social worker helped me explain that I just had a lot of questions, I wanted this to remain confidential, and I very much did not want him to feel uncomfortable. He was, as I expected, a complete doll. He was so helpful and laid back and answered all of my questions. His info was concerning, but I learned his surgeon's name, his recovery time, and I was able to see what a bright, fully-recovered, adorable young man he is. He explained that his older brother was diagnosed first, he was subsequently checked and had a more serious condition with syrinxes. (not sure if that is spelled properly) Therefore, his surgery was scheduled first, followed by his brother's several months later. Knowing that Tretter's symptoms of migraines and bladder control are worse than Whitaker's symptoms, I couldn't help but feel a connection. I have since learned that any Chiari that is symptomatic at all needs relatively urgent attention. I cannot put into words how helpful this conversation was and how much I appreciate his candid, open honesty. I will be greatful for that forever.

When I got home that day, the pediatric neurosurgeon's office had called and given us the appointment time. It is on February 3, Whitaker's birthday. Then she said that our doctor's name is Dr. Wilson (not his real name, but the same last name as the boys I teach). I smiled, knowing that God is in control, and He has a sense of humor. At least that is how I choose to see it.

We planned to tell the boys about it after Wednesday night religion. John and I took them out for a Frosty, then came home to hold a family meeting. We tried to explain to the boys in as positive a light as possible what we had learned and what it might entail.
Whitaker just totally jumped to the conclusion and said, "So, I'm gonna have to have brain surgery?" Then we told him he would be going to the neurosurgeon on his 10th birthday. He smiled and said, "Happy Birthday to me, You get brain surgery!!"
We laughed and Tretter started to say, "I would HATE to be Whita....."
Right then we looked to him and said, "and it's genetic. You might have Chiari too. You need to be checked."
His eyes totally filled with tears and the color drained from his face. Tretter is an old soul and he understands things on a deeper level. Whitaker is a comedian and will use his sense of humor to get through everything. Tretter said, "I am not having an MRI!"
Whitaker said, "MRI - you're going to have way worse than that."
We explained to Tretter that if he has it, this is probably the cause of his migraines and his bladder control problems, both of which he would gladly get rid of if a cure exists. We went to bed Wednesday night with more questions than answers, reassuring the boys that we would get through this together.

History

2010-01-17T19:44:00.000-06:00

Okay, I have come to the conclusion that I cannot possibly text, email, and facebook message everyone that I care about through this lovely new development in our lives. So, you get the whole package - on my crazy self blog, which only a few people know about and NO ONE reads, I am going to put updates about my kiddos.

Here's the LOOOOONGGG version, because I am assuming if you are reading this it's because you want to.

When Whitaker was 2 and Tretter was 1, the Dr. that we see here in our hometown of Tell City, who, for the purposes of this blog will be "Dr. M." sent us to an endocrinologist in Louisville at Kosair Children's Hospital because both boys had fallen off the growth chart. There was NO eveidence of failure to thrive, as their emotional, physical, and intellectual development was all advanced.

At the endocrinologist, they were measured, weighed, had blood taken and hand x-rays (to check bone age) every six months or a year for several years. Both boys were diagnosed as being constitutionally delayed, which in lay person's terms means that they would simply be late-bloomers, possibly growing to their full adult potential in the years following high school. There are no other general symptoms and no risks to being constitutionally delayed....it just means that a child's bone age is not the same as their chronological age.

Somewhere around age 5, Tretter was released from the endo until further concerns arose because his growth velocity (rate of height increase/time) was more normal and his size was closer to average. Whitaker continued to be seen every six months or a year and his height and weight were charted.

Last November, at an appointment with our pysician at the endocrinologist, (we'll call her Dr. S.)she realized that Whitaker's growth velocity had slowed and mentioned that since he is getting close to 10, we may want to go ahead and have the testing done to see if he may have a growth hormone deficiency, although it is assumed up to this point to be just constitutional delay and short stature due to familial short stature. She explained that their office only uses Kosair hospital and asked me what kind of insurance we have. I told her we had Anthem; she made a face and then glanced down at the newspaper sitting on the desk. The headline sayed something such as, "Norton Settles with Anthem."
Relieved, she said, "Oh, good, they have been arguing and Kosair wasn't accepting Anthem but it looks like they worked it out." She wrote the order for his stim test (growth hormone stimulating test) to take place at Kosair hospital. The appointment was set for December 15.
On December 23, we spoke with her and she diagnosed him with a growth hormone deficiency as he had failed both stimulation tests. She said she would order the growth hormones, order training for us to administer the shots, and that it was routine for them to do an MRI to check for pituitary or hypothalamus tumors before they start hormones.

Symptom tracker
Whitaker has increasingly shown signs of fatigue, lethargy and general lack of energy over the last few years. Despite wanting to be active and athletic, he struggles with coordination. One time last year he fouled out of a basketball game in the first quarter because he kept running into people. He also complains of headaches but not migraines. His headaches happen when exerting himself. After every soccer game, and playing hard in the back yard, he says the back of his head hurts. He also has severe headaches in the back of his head when he coughs. We just told him to drink more water and that he might not be in very good shape. Nice. I am sure that we have accused him of being lazy. We were hopeful (and still are) that the growth hormones would help give him the balance of what his body wasn't making for itself that would increase his energy level and improve his metabolism.

Tretter began having headaches followed by episodes of vomiting at age 3. We tried to track them to see if they were related to allergies, stress, nutrition, etc. Basically we got nowhere, but we did see a stress connection and lack of sleep connection. He had 4 or 5 migraines each year in Kindergarten through 2nd grade and we thought that they might be diminishing in frequency, but not by much. As he grew older, he became more able to tell us when he was getting one and sometimes he would fall asleep before he got sick; sometimes I could give him Motrin and it would help. Sometimes I could give him Motrin and it wouldn't help.

Tretter also has had problems with bladder control for his entire life.......not just bed-wetting at night, but during the daytime as well. He had to tinkle so often that I had his urine checked three times by 1st grade because I was sure he had a kidney infection or a bladder infection or kidney reflux or cancer or something. The urine tests always came back clean and clear and we were told not to worry that it could be just part of his constitutionaly delay.

In July 2009, Dr. M. was concerned about his continued lack of control and thought it might be physiological. He ordered an abdominal ultrasound and an abdominal x-ray to check for abnormalities or problems, and, again referred us to a specialist. We took him to a urologist in Louisville who will be referred to as "Dr. J." and he was so nice to Tretter. He reviewed the reports with us and explained that there is absolutely nothing physically wrong with his kidneys, bladder, urine, or anything in the urinary tract. This was a relief, obviously. Dr. J. said there are some meds available to help dry him up so he would not have to go so often. We were NOT keen on that idea at all, and he was seemed very pleased to prescribe him NOTHING. He joked with Tretter that all the old men in the waiting room would be jealous that he doesn't have problems with "dribbling." We left there both relieved and confused, but mostly just thankful for a clean report on the area. His bladder control problems continue, and we make it a "non-issue."
If he wets the bed, he climbs in our bed and says, "I'm sorry, I accidentally wet the bed."
I say, "That's okay, sweetheart, you don't have to be sorry. Climb in." That's the end of it.
I change the sheets often but what mom doesn't have to change the sheets often for one reason or another?

I know, I know

2009-11-13T14:08:00.000-06:00

It's November now and, not like anyone reads this anyway, but I did not get to run my race on October 18. mostly because my youngest child had a birthday party that he did not want to miss and my husband wanted to go golfing. Therefore, despite being totally unprepared and having paid for it, I did not get to go to Louisville that day. I did, however, pass the School Leaders Licensure Assessment and will soon be adding K-12 administration to my teacher's license!

I have spent the last four days in the hospital with my dad who had a motorcycle accident on Monday. He is feeling better thankfully, and is home now. I am recommitted to healthy eating and exercising as usual when I have to spend more than 60 seconds inside the walls of a hospital for any reason. I also get massive diarrhea due to nerves related to the hospital......my weight is now 126.

I am going to wrap Christmas presents, work on homework and procrastinate school work for as long as possible. If and when I get a chance to run again, I'll post then. Hopefully it will be within the next week. Pretty soon I am going to have success. I feel like someone who is in a twelve-step program who keeps going back to step one.

Where have you been?

2009-09-07T22:54:00.000-05:00

Where have I been?! Well August 31 was my first day of graduate school for this semester. Guess what? I decided to take two classes. Saturday I am taking the new and improved School Leadership Licensure Assessment, aka a $450 test to determine whether or not you are a good enough test-taker to become a school administrator.

Last Sunday I did go on another walk, for three miles with the dog and the weighted vest. I was hoping that after running three miles a day for the distance of the race with the vest that I could breeze through the 5K sans vest. Yeah, nice thought.

Now I am more crunched for time than ever, have gained TWO MORE POUNDS since the beginning of school. WRONG DIRECTION, MORON! and I am going to buckle down and get prepared for this race. I can't imagine how good I am going to feel about myself when I finish it. Even if it takes me forever, I know I can finish it.

Had the worst time at Walmart tonight. Whole family - going after food - bought way too much food - husband wants kids to eat bread and drink milk - I want kids to be thinner and healthier for health and habit reasons, not image reasons - they would ask for stuff and we would say "no" together - they started whispering and asking us individually for stuff (with big brown eyes) - tried to not freak out because it took so long and we saw so many people we know but did not really want to talk to - get home and remember that I never even combed my hair after I took a shower. Nice.

Look for running update TOMORROW night (Tuesday) since I haven't done much since last Tuesday when I walked for about an hour with my friend during football practice. Back to the grind tomorrow with a couple of extra items to grind. Football, soccer, flag football, admin. test, working a football game, etc.

God bless ~

ok, people

2009-08-30T15:13:00.000-05:00

Here is what happened: Last night, I went to Cheddar's to eat with friends.....well, I ate chicken fingers, nachos, potato skins and ranch dressing, in addition to fries with cheese and bacon.

Needless to say, when I woke up this morning I felt like I had slept upside down in a freight train car. I vowed to get it in gear today, right after I won my Mercedes M-Class on ebay.

Problem: while patiently waiting for my husband to come home from squirrel hunting, the auction ENDED!!! I thought I had an hour and forty minutes left, but it ended at a price I would have bid and it had EVERYTHING I wanted. I have been looking for the same kind of car for over a year and waiting for one to get in the price range I am willing to go. This was so it.

Sooooooo NOT it, apparently. AAAGGHHHHHH!

So, I decided I could sit here on the couch feeling bloated, fat and lazy and bemoan my lost car, searching endlessly for another one (which will probably take another year), or I could get off my fat butt and go for a walk because it is beautiful outside! That's what I did!!! Finally - some motivation kicked me off the couch! I left a sleeping husband, sleeping child, and sleeping dog in the family room and exited through the front door. (It wasn't that difficult; I really don't understand my laziness.)

I went two miles: ran the first 1/4 of a mile and then walked. By the end of the first half mile, my lungs were killing me. I started the asthmatic coughing thing and ran again for the last quarter of the first mile. I wanted to quit at the end of the first mile so badly. (What is wrong with me? Have I seriously become so fat and out of shape that I don't even want to walk more than one mile?) I trudged on - I only walked the second mile, but I walked briskly and I didn't quit. My legs, cellulite notwithstanding, were totally fine after two miles - not even tired.

Beth Moore says to "plan your victories. " I plan to drink a lot of water and eat an apple later today. I have already had a few handfuls of chocolate chips, a yogurt, a bag of crackers and some quakes (cheese, of course). This goal is aided by the fact that the crock-pot is full of squirrels. Yes, I said squirrels, and they smell really bad, so when coupled with the kind-0f-nauseous-post-exercise feeling, the apple-and-peanut-butter-for-dinner plan should be pretty easy to implement.

Vowing to keep searching for the right car. I am sure that one wasn't meant to be. Serious bummer, though, because I really wanted it. Also cannot decide whether or not to take another class this semester to advance my progress in the LME program......wanted to take a little break, but really want to get finished sooner. What should I do? I have to decide today, since classes start tomorrow. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

Going for another walk tonight - three miles with the dog and the weighted vest.....my race is seven weeks from today. I still weigh the same I did when I started two weeks ago (126 lbs.), but I feel like I am healthier and my body is getting more toned. At least that is what I am telling myself!

Psalm 118:24 : This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it! NIV

crazy week for my crazy self

2009-08-27T20:09:00.000-05:00

Well, I skipped a soccer board meeting tonight, which might sound weird, but is actually a good step! Today I ran/walked a mile because I woke up on time, but had to help Whitaker with his homework. Yesterday I was completely exhausted and I did not get up in time to go. Tuesday morning I took the dog and we went about 2 and 1/2 miles. I have overeaten for the last three days and I think I actually weigh more than I did when I started. Oh, well.

Enough of that: Project Runway is on tonight and I am so excited! I don't know how I am ging to like it in LA. Open-minded however. Same show, different setting. So far I can't figure out what the heck that girl who is standing on her hands is wearing. I LOVE the black girl who makes clothes for plus-sexy. I feel sorry for the Johnny guy who is recovering from a meth addiction.

Ragweed is high today. So immensely thankful that I had the surgery (septoplasty and endoscopic sinus surgery with turbanite reduction) this summer. Still love my iphone so much - everyone should have one of these! I am serious - it is so awesome!

I love my husband. He is great.......I am so glad tomorrow is Friday......tomorrow I am going to run more - hopefully a mile nonstop. Yay!

lyons - out

still slacking, but I'll write some cool stories

2009-08-24T22:23:00.000-05:00

Over the summer in a desperate attempt to get to meet Kelly Ripa, I drove to Indianapolis at 3:00 am and auditioned for the Who Wants to be a Millionaire show. They were casting for the recent set of shows with Regis and I thought I could possibly get to meet her if I got to meet him.
Anyway, the "audition" is really just a freaking hard test that only about 10% of the people "pass." I could write a whole big long story about the process, but needless to say, I did not pass the test. The producers made us take both the general knowledge test and the movie test for the special week they are having with all movie questions. This trip was only 9 days after my invasive surgery, which rendered me in no shape to travel alone and without sleep, but Kelly-love was calling.

When they first let us into the auditorium, (after waiting about 50 minutes outside), they gave out magnets with a session number and a personal number written on the back. I was in the first session and #334 out of 375 that they let into the room (and I got there at 6:00 which was the earliest they would allow people to line up). There were enough magnets for four sessions.

We had 10 minutes to answer 30 multiple-choice questions on a scan-tron form that we wrote our name and number on. I took notes the whole time, writing down all the questions I could remember after each test.

The questions I remember are as follows:

Regular test:

What do statin drugs treat?
What computer company has cow-print boxes?
Who is Jimmy Wales?
Which of the following is a palindrome.....
What is the setting of Death of a Salesman?
With what Russian did Catherine the Great have a relationship?

Movie test:

What is the name of Adam Sandler's production company?
a question about some rapper-turned actor, but LL Cool J was the only one I could think of and he was not a choice
a question about members of the Brat Pack and which ones were in which movies
several quotes that we had to choose from which movie they came
several questions in which we were asked to identify which actors were in which movies, as well as directors, settings and plot details - not generalized plot info that one could obtain from movie trailers.

All movie questions were dispersed over the history of American film beginning in the 1930’s. There were also questions about Academy Award winners from before I was born and even one about the specific wording of an award given, if I remember correctly.

Out of the 375 people, 37 passed the first test, 19 passed the second test and about 5 people passed both. Even after being asked repeatedly by crowd-members, the producers would not tell what the passing score is. I have a feeling it is either a perfect score or missing only one question, based on the conversation with interesting but nerdy guy next to me, which is another story.

If I had passed the test, I would have had my picture taken and been given an appointment time to come back later in the day for an interview. I knew immediately upon completion that I failed the test miserably, but I feel like I could have been chosen for the show had I gotten to the interview stage. I guess I am just weird enough. Plus, I was hoping for the sympathy vote.
It was kind of a God-thing that I did not make it, however, because I was getting really light-headed and dizzy by the end of the second test. I had to walk to the nearby Walmart and rest in the bathroom before I could drive back to Louisville where Whitaker was in Art Camp at U of L's Speed Art Museum.

It was an awesome and unique experience and I was so proud of myself for doing it even though I did not become a millionaire! I got to keep the magnet and the pencil they handed out with the closed envelope containing the tests.

Other activities I did this summer were get a new dog, a new septum (for which I was part of a case-study), a new vehicle, and 6 hours of A's from WKU. I also was the grand-door-prize winner at my summer conference where I won a coffee mug (first) and then won a beautiful 8G iPod! So excited and could not believe it - especially since I was still recovering and felt pretty nauseous that day. There were over 200 people there. Yay me! Yay God!

James 1:17 : Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.

slacker

2009-08-24T05:50:00.000-05:00

So I took Saturday and Sunday, and Monday morning off. Well, I didn't actually take this morning off though, because I have been up for two hours grading papers and it isn't even 6:00 yet. I REALLY, REALLY am going to go tonight. The total body makeover starts today. Whatever it takes, however much it hurts, I am going to do it. Go me!

and please help me, God. I need some motivation.

a little ranting

2009-08-23T14:07:00.000-05:00

Okay so I took yesterday off. I am going to go run tonight. I am having a VERY hard time not comparing my progress to that of others. I mean, it is good that I am exercising AT ALL, but everytime I get on facebook, I have friends who are running more, stairclimbing longer, competing in full-body combat, swimming rivers, completing trail marathons, teaching spin and yoga classes, riding bikes up and down hills and on and on. I should feel inspired by this, but being the jealous bitch that I am, it just makes me angry.

I am vowing to turn my frown upside down and keep moving in the right direction. With God's help, I hope to learn to love myself and not be so dependent on the acceptance of others. Fat chance. No pun intended. :-)

I have a TON of housework and schoolwork to do and it is already getting kind of late, but I am still going to run/walk about three miles this evening. I am hoping I can get it done in less than an hour.....with no Tebow, that should be possible. I am also going to check a 5K in 8 weeks plan online since my race is now 8 weeks from today. I feel like I am moving in the right direction, but I have a loooooonnnnngggg way to go.

quick update

2009-08-22T23:15:00.000-05:00

Okay Thursday morning I tried to walk Tebow again, but again, he walked me, and pulled me, and drug me a little ways down the concrete. He chased after a skunk and I ate it right on the street. Luckily, it was only about 4:55 am so only one car saw me. (I HATE walking where/when people can see me, but I like to walk where it is well-lit.) With road rash and a hole in my sweatpants, I vowed to get him a new collar. We walked about 2 and 1/2 miles in approx. 50 min. Not great.

Thursday evening we went to PetSmart, (after a huge fight about communication and values). After consulting the experts at the store, we opted for a Gentle Leader. The Gentle Leader is a special, humane "head collar" that keeps them from pulling and fighting against a leash. It doesn't go across their windpipes; more like a harness, not a muzzle, blah, blah, blah.

Friday morning - new Gentle Leader worked like a charm and I was able to walk/run for about 50 minutes but did not go up and down hills because I wanted to stay close to my car (in case Tebow had breathing troubles because he is a flat-nosed dog and the video had a special alert for such dogs). He was perfectly fine, but I was just being careful. Monday I am going to start a different Couch to 5K plan that is geared for 8 weeks of training. My race is 8 weeks from tomorrow. I am going to walk the dog in the mornings enough to help him be calmer during the day and get the exercise he needs and then I am going to try to work up to my 3.3 miles by running in the evenings without him.

This morning I weighed 124.5 lbs. I can't even remember how much and what all I have eaten in the last two days. I am going to get a grip on my out-of-control eating, though. I got an iPhone today and I downloaded an app that keeps track of calories and another one called MapMyRun. I can't wait to start keeping track of how far I actually go and start trying to train for real. This week has been really good though because I walked all five morinings of school. That isn't exactly going to get me looking like Kelly Ripa, but it is a start. I have until April to get in rock-hard, totally cut shape for my reunion. Not just for my reunion, for me, and forever.

I love my students (mostly); they are so sweet - they are anxious to learn, they listen, and I don't even know what to do with some of them because they are so eager to please.

I love Kyle Busch now. I think he is misunderstood. And he drives the M&M's car, which is AWESOME! He is my guy. Not Dale Jr., not Jeff G., I'm going with the guy who wears chocolate on his chest.

My cousin had a baby and I can't wait to meet her. Her name is Grace. I think she is gorgeous.

Tomorrow: church, the river and grading papers.

just in case you were wondering....

2009-08-19T22:51:00.000-05:00

I still hate my hair and I still don't like myself.

I woke up at 10 to 6 instead of 10 to 5 so I only was able to walk/run a mile and a half this morning. Accomplished it in about 20 or 25 minutes. We had a restless night (up and down and bad dreams and wet beds) so I was exhausted when I got up (in a different bed). I was somewhat proud of myself for going ahead and taking him for a walk....I so wanted to go back to bed.

As far as actually running, I think I may have to in reality work the couch to 5k program by walking in the evening sans dog. I cannot concentrate on anything except keeping Tebow on the right track when I am with him, but I have to give him props for working out my back, butt, shoulders, and abs trying to keep him from pulling me over and dragging me face down into the woods.

For the record, I'm still fat. I can't fit into any of my pants for school so I am wearing dresses and skirts everyday until some pants fit. Weight: 125.5 (ugh) What I ate today - breakfast - coffee; lunch - chicken nuggets, corn, mac and cheese frozen dinner and dmd; supper - one cup of white grape juice, one small plate of chicken alfredo pasta, one small tagalong blizzard. Yeah, I know, I shouldn't complain about being fat if I am going to eat crap like that. Bite me.

Goals: get more accomplished tomorrow, don't give up.

Romans 8:28 : All things work together for good for those who love the Lord, all who are called according to His purpose.

okay, that was rough

2009-08-18T19:40:00.001-05:00

Here is how things went beginning at 4:50 this morning:

woke up the dog
took him out for a walk
encountered mean neighborhood dog who bit Tebow a few weeks ago
Tebow FREAKED out and started pulling away from me
it was totally black with no moon or stars
I got him in the car and he proceeded to step on my thighs and scratch them
I drove to a well-lit location approx. 2 miles away
began walking and running (off and on) with Tebow
he almost pulled me over one time chasing a phantom animal
he stopped at least 72 times to smell something, what, I have no idea!
he pulled and dragged and struggled against me the entire time
once, at a corner (a busy 4-way stop) we encountered another dog who was on a chain who decided to bark repeatedly at him
again, Tebow FREAKED out and tried to get at the other dog
he spun me around and around and I had to put one foof up on the curb and pull back with all my weight to hold onto him
two other very accomplished runners went by at a collegiate-track-runner pace and I immediately got a huge boost of inferiority
I wrapped the leash around my wrist and then around my shoulder so he was on a shorter lead
finally got back to my car after he pulled on me the entire way up a hill
got in the car and decided to figure out how far we had walked (at this point I am in a FOUL mood)
I roll the window down for him in the back seat of my car
as I drive, he sticks his head out the window and when I came to a stop sign, we saw another dog being walked on a leash
he jumped the entire front half of his body out the window while barking violently at the other dog (a tiny shi-zu with a rather grouchy-looking owner lady)
I completely turn my head around to yell at him and try to grab him and in doing so, completely turn the steering wheel to the right with me
I almost run into a trailer parked on the curb and slam on my brakes
Tebow then slides off the seat and slams into the back of the driver's seat
I realized that I needed some positive vibes and fast
I drove home, hugged my kids, and vowed to get a prong collar TODAY

Okay, so tonight, my husband would not let us get a sitter and go to a pet store because he wanted to mow the grass. He said I could go by myself but then he decided he wanted the house cleaned up and he started helping for the first time in weeks. Then I felt guilty and I didn't go because it is an hour away and I felt like I should help around the house. Now I have to take the stupid dog again tomorrow.
By the way - we only made it 2.9 miles in 62 minutes. That is not going to bode well in my 5K race. Holy crap I have a long way to go.......
weight: 125.5 breakfast: 2 cinnamon pop-tarts (420 cal.), lunch: one box of frozen lasagna (350 cal.), supper: 8 schezchan wingz and water.

Day 2 - up and at 'em

2009-08-18T04:03:00.000-05:00

After going to bed at 10 last night, I woke up this morning at 3:30. The thought of running and the thought of going to school are NOT making me want to stab my eyeballs out with a knitting needle. In my crazy world, that spells P R O G R E S S!

I definitely believe that Tebow making gross sounds and the 8-year-old in my bed may have contributed to my alertness at this hour (4:06 am). However, I am only slightly in need of some caffienated beverage, so I totally see that as progress, as well. I am going to take the dog out around 5:00 this morning and I am going to try to create a 3-mile trek for us. That way I can go the same distance everyday and work up my running portions.

Other issues (prayers) right now: I'm searching for a different car, a different job and a plane ticket to visit my far-away friend. oh, and I hate my hair. However, since a friend of mine just learned her husband has a malignant brain tumor, I am thinking my life is pretty darn good right now. Another friend who is younger than me has MS and has to use a walker. That makes me realize that taking the dog for a walk a blessing for which to be thankful, not a burden about which to complain.

Blessings today: a new baby is about to come into our family (AWESOME!), my boys are loving school right now, my boys are beautiful and healthy, my boys are sweet young men. What more could anyone want? Oh, yeah, to be 20 lbs. thinner, I almost forgot.

it's better than nothing

2009-08-18T03:51:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I got up at 4:40 and went out with the dog. I drove to a well-lit place and we walked/ran for about 30 minutes. I can honestly say that part of the time the dog (Tebow) walked me. I don't think I ran enough, but I was hot and tired when we got finished, so I'm sure it did some good. I don't know how far we went but I am going to figure that out today.

I am really proud of myself for actually getting up and going. I pretty much hated that part, but once I got going, I was happy to be out in the fresh air with my dog, even if he pulls like a maniac and he needs a pincher collar! (It is supposed to rain today, so maybe we can go get one.) I think if I can develop a habit of getting up early and going to bed early then I will not hate it after a while.

here's the hard part: weight: 126 (disgusting) breakfast: coffee, lunch, Banquet lasagna (10 for $10 at the grocery store - forgot to check the calories on the box), one piece of leftover cake; after school: one bowl of cereal with milk, one small cup of juice, supper: one bowl of chicken-pasta-cheese sauce (from a box, but at least I made dinner for my family!)

I spent two and half hours cleaning up the little boys' playroom, looked at cars on ebay and went to bed a little before 10 pm - I was DONE by then!

why have a running blog?

2009-08-16T22:15:00.000-05:00

Well here are my reasons for starting running and a running blog:

all my friends are running and I feel left out
I signed up for a 5K and I should probably train a little
the blog will help keep me accountable to myself and others
I quit therapy two months ago and at this point running seems better than drinking
the dog needs to run in the mornings to help with his separation anxiety
I'M FAT!
maybe if I get in a habit of running, I will finally like myself (probably not, but it's worth a try)

I have exactly 9 weeks until I am supposed to run, so the Couch to 5K program might be a good place to start.

Sunday evening; weight: unknown - too scared to get on the scale; today: chocolate covered chewy granola bar, 1 small package of skittles, a 100-calorie yogurt, two small slices of pizza (cheese only because I took the pepperoni and bacon off and fed it to the dog) 3-4 pieces of cinnamon cake with cream cheese gingerbread icing. coffee, water, dmd

tomorrow is a new day. I am going to download some songs now to "motivate" me. wish I had a friend who would walk/run with me.

Jeremiah 29:11 : "For I alone know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."